Flashback to my first day of college. As I approached the building of my first class, a tall, skinny brunette held the door for me. Right as I was about to walk through, she dropped the coffee, as well as the textbook that she was holding. Having nothing in my hands, I quickly bent down to grab her things for her. She smiled and said, "I'm so sorry, I'm a nervous wreck today and it's making me jittery!" I reassured her that she was fine, that I was nervous too. We ended up being in the same class and decided to sit together since we knew no one else. As the professor began going through the syllabus, I noticed she was staring at my notebook with my name scribbled across the top. She then leaned over and said, "I love your name and the way you spell it. It's so unique! I'm Kayla by the way!".
I'll never forget that day simply because it was that day that convinced me that people were right about meeting some of your best friends in college. We stayed close even after having no classes together second semester. We even applied for nursing school together this summer. We were so excited about getting through all the long nights and stressful exams together. Unfortunately, someone bigger than us had other plans.
Nov. 22, 2016. Another day I will never forget. It was the last day before Thanksgiving break. We were getting ready to leave to head home for the holiday — me to a small town only an hour away, you all the way to Illinois. We hugged and said our goodbyes. The very last thing I said to you as you walked away was "Love you!! Drive safely!" Around 11 o'clock that evening, I received a phone call saying you were killed in a car accident earlier that evening. I remember saying into the phone, "Are you sure?" I started shaking and began to heavily cry. How could you be dead? I had just seen you a few short hours ago.
You were always telling me that I needed to speak up more about my feelings. Only a couple of days before your accident you were telling me to stop pretending I'm happy 100 percent of the time. So this is me speaking up about how I really feel about losing you. My heart broke that day and it still hasn't begun to heal. I don't know if I'll ever completely heal. Going to class without you is so hard, but I know nursing school without you will be even harder. I still think about you and often catch myself thinking, "I don't understand this. Maybe Kayla will," but then the realization that you're gone hits me again. Trying to move on without you is so much more difficult than I ever could have imagined, but I know how mad you would be if I let losing you affect my grades and life. But don't worry, I'm taking this all one day at a time and I'm doing alright.
I don't know why God took you so soon, but I know that I have to trust in His plan. It brings me comfort knowing you're at home with our Lord, but I still wish I could have just one more day with you. I know that you're watching down on me and cheering me on. I wish we could have had more than a year to make memories, but I'm extremely grateful to have the ones that I do. I'll never forget your contagious laugh or your ability to make awful situations seem not so bad. I hope Heaven is full of laughter, Pringles, Oreos, and orange Sunkist because I know that's what makes you the happiest. Keep watching over me, I feel so blessed to have a guardian angel as wonderful as you. I'll never forget you, K.
"It's been a long day, without you, my friend. But I'll tell you all about it when I see you again" ~See You Again, Wiz Khalifa ft. Charlie Puth.
