If you are anything like me, you probably hate showing other people how you really feel. Your emotions may be going crazy on the inside, but to you it’s just better to bottle everything up so that others don’t have to see how emotional you really are.
For as long as I can remember I have been this way. Bottling up my emotions and hating myself if I ever even think about crying in front of someone else. I know this is not a good thing, trust me. I know that it’s better to just let it all out and tell people how I really feel, even if that means coming off as emotional. But the thing is, when this idea of being emotionally equals being weak is so engrained in your brain and who you are, it’s hard to let go.
It might be different for other people, but when I was little I was taught that crying doesn’t solve anything. When you cry, it shows weakness and that is not how I wanted to come off to people. I have my grandpa to thank for this. He was someone I looked up to so much that whatever he said was law. By no means did he intentionally engrain this in me, but as a kid you listen to everything and your brain is like a sponge soaking up everything you hear. So now, years later, I still remember statements he made or stories about how he told my mom to stop crying, and I can’t seem to let it go.
But, I’m trying. I’m trying to be better about opening up to people and being ok with showing emotion even when it can be hard. The big thing is knowing that it’s ok to cry. Some of my closest friends have never seen me cry before and that’s crazy to me. We’ve been friends for so long and shared so many things and I’ve helped them through hard times, but I realized that I don’t let them help me and I need to work on that.
In the end, it’s ok if we hate showing emotions, but we do need to realize that it’s ok to show them too. It’s ok to cry and it’s ok to let the people close to you see how you really feel. Showing emotions does not equal weakness. Emotions equal strength and this is something that we need to learn. It can be hard and we may not want to, but in the long run we’ll be thankful that we did.
