20 Important Reminders For All You Girls About To Turn 21

20 Important Reminders For All You Girls About To Turn 21

The early twenties can be an extremely stressful time for women.
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I have come to find that the years of my early twenties have been among some of the best years of my life.

Moving away to college, going to concerts and bars with my friends, wild frat parties, beach days, becoming a college cheerleader, getting my first real job as a personal trainer (offering potential for a career).

While these have been some of the most fun and exciting years of my life they have also been some of the most stressful. Pulling multiple all nighters in a row, and still getting a D on an exam, constantly taking two steps forward and three steps back, feeling a want to be independent, and the struggle it takes to get there, quitting cheerleading, anxiety about my post college plans, and fading in and out of friendships and relationships.

The early twenties can be an extremely stressful time for women. Women are two times as likely to suffer from depression or an anxiety disorder than men. Additionally, research shows that depressive disorder may be appearing earlier in life in people born in recent decades compared to the past.

I've compiled a list of things for all girls in theirs twenties to remind themselves.

1. No one knows what they're doing and if they say they do, they're lying.

So many women compare themselves to others, when in reality, you can't actually know what anyone is thinking, or more so what actually goes on in their life. So stop worrying about feeling like a hot mess comparing yourself to the girl who seems to have it all together.

2. Every minute you spend thinking about someone else is a minute you lose to spend working on yourself.

Facebook and Instagram stalking your ex-boyfriend or ex-best friend is pointless, especially if they're no longer in your life. Focus on yourself and the people you currently have around you supporting you.

3. You don't need to find your "future husband" right now.

You have plenty of time to find someone to spend the rest of your life with, which is a long time. Your life timeline is longer than you think, and looking for someone rather than looking for the right someone can be the difference between a happy marriage or a divorce.

4. Don't think of relationships as, "if we're not getting married we're eventually gonna break up."

Be thankful for the time you spent with or have to spend with that person. Cherish those memories while they last even if they may eventually come to an end. Remember, "when one door closes another one opens."

5. Do the things you love, break the rules.

Don't settle for a job you hate just because it makes you a lot of money. At the very least, continue to do the things you love on the side; painting, singing, dancing, football, whatever it may be.

Keep doing the things you love. It will be your saving grace and will keep you sane.

Don't be afraid to be who you are and break free from societal roles, it's OK to be different, the most successful people don't care what other people think and aren't afraid to be themselves and stand out from the rest of the world.

6. You need and deserve a break.

Work hard but don't burn yourself out. It's easy to get caught up in your daily grind, but take the time to do things that relax you, or go out with your friend.

Remember, you're twenty-something, not forty-something.

You're not tied down. Now is the time to have fun, make mistakes, and be reckless once in a while.

7. Put the time in.

With whatever you wish to achieve, put the time in don't expect life to give you handouts. Don't quit when it gets tough or you think you won't make it. If you put the time in and get what you want to do done, you will be successful in life.

8. Relationships are the hardest part of life, don't dwell on them.

Relationships whether its family, friends or a romantic partner, relationships are the hardest part of life. Just be attentive, listen to other people and hear them out.

Use your intuition and leave behind the relationships that are negative. Being nostalgic never helps, if you don't let people go you'll never be happy with your current life.

9. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

If the first two times you try something it doesn't work out, take a different approach. Trying to get something done the same way and failing each time means you're doing something wrong.

You'll ultimately just pick up learned helplessness. It's not that you're incompetent, you just need to take a different approach.

10. You most likely won't marry your first love.

This is generally the case, and it's OK. Sure, being "high school sweethearts" sounds all nice and mushy, like the perfect fairytale, and for some people, this is the case.

But it's good to experience different people. If I never had breakups I would have never found out what it felt like to be treated well.

11. You're not 16 anymore. Don't expect your body to look like you are.

You're no longer a teenager, your body is different, your hormone release is different, don't expect an effortlessly flat stomach, thigh gap, and size zero.

It's not gonna happen.

Your bones are bigger and your structure is wider and it gets more difficult to stay in shape as you get older. Focus on being healthy, not a size zero.

12. People who want you in their life will be in your life.

Don't waste your time on people who don't care, or constantly blow you off, put you down or hurt you. You don't deserve it, and neither does anyone else. If they don't make you a better person, if they don't make you happier, let them go.

13. If someone tells you "you can't" show them that "you did."

Don't let anyone interfere with your dreams, they're your dreams to achieve, and if you want something, and you put in the work it takes you will get it!

14. Someone will always have more.

There will always be a girl who's prettier, smarter, funnier, skinnier, richer, more athletic. Base your success off of how much progress you have made, not by comparing yourself to someone else.

15. Things are just things.

Things do not equal happiness. Experiences and successes do! Sure that new Triangl bikini is nice, and you deserve to treat yourself to tangible items, but at the end of the day, they are just things.

16. People change, and so will you.

Your life changes dramatically year to year, especially during your early twenties, a time of many new beginnings and opportunities. Things are inconsistent, and people change and move away. Don't let this upset you, and don't base your happiness on other people.

They're just people after all, and they make mistakes. People can't always be reliable.

17. Take it one step at a time.

I like to look at my life like driving at night. Your headlights can only light up a small portion of the road ahead of you. You can let what you can't see coming scare you, or you can follow the road as you see it and worry about the obstacles when they come into view.

This is something I try to focus on when I have anxiety.

18. It's OK to be selfish.

To an extent, yes. Sometimes I have a problem with putting others before myself, and yes this is a good thing in moderation. You need to be well for yourself in order to help others.

19. Follow your intuition.

Your gut feeling is more accurate than you think. If you have a good feeling about something, take a chance on it. Failure is better than wondering if you would have succeeded.

20. You will figure it out.

I know it's a time of so many uncertainties and financial instability, but just keep treading water and you'll eventually make it to shore.

Cover Image Credit: Tumblr.com

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The Undesignated "Designated" Smoking Spots On A Smoke And Tobacco Free Campus Have A Culture Of Their Own

Smoking on campus provides a different meaning than squeezing in a smoke break.
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The University of South Florida declared a tobacco and smoke-free campus on January 4th, 2016 - about two years ago. As many of Bulls know, that is not exactly the case or in which some of us deviate from or prove ignorant to these declarations that are aimed to encourage the health and the wellbeing of the students and faculty of USF.

Though I am very proud of my school to take this initiative and promote the awareness or the need to encourage the adoption of healthy habits, there seems to be a division between that of the “smokers” and the “nonsmokers.”

Despite my rare engagement with cigarettes, my viewpoint has not drastically changed from the time before I had my first cigarette - cigarettes are not the best for you and it would most likely benefit you in the long run to trash the habit altogether. However, I have observed the culture that is derived from the habit. Smoking on campus provides a different meaning than squeezing in a smoke break.

For some people smoking cigarettes is a form of a stress free act and could curve certain feelings like that of depression and anxiety. Others do it socially. Whatever the reason it may be, I am grateful for these spots. I rather enjoy watching people laugh and enjoy themselves. Yes, there is a myriad of other things to get that relief, but I rather there be more smoke breaks than stories of trips to the hospitals. I rather there be coffee breath cigarette talks amongst friendships than surrounding yourself with four cold walls of confinement.

There are cultures that are bursting along the side of USF’s library, on the steps outside of the Social Science building, and benches underneath whistling trees. It is not particularly easy to make new friends or come to a new place entirely and building yourself from what it seems to be the beginning.

USF is a stained glass window of cultures and human beings making this campus a home away from home. Leaving what they know best to pursue an education they believe in. These spots allow for sparks of conversations among people of different backgrounds that have something in common.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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How To Find Success In Failure

Successfully failing starts with finding failure successful.
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None of us want to admit it, but let’s be real. We all fail at some point in our lives. We’re all introduced to failure when we’re trying to take our first steps, and it haunts us for the rest of our lives. We don’t want to fail, but it’s part of life. Our parents have failed, our grandparents have failed, our friends have failed, everyone has come face-to-face with failure more than once. It’s what you do after those failures that provide you with success. And let me tell you, it’s not easy, but there are ways to find and create success for yourself from your failures.

Ask “Why?”

If you get rejected from say, a job or a university, don’t just take the L. Find it within you to reach out and ask why you were rejected. Never ask “Why not me?” Unless you have a great answer if they ask "Why you?" that you didn't give them before. You won’t learn anything about yourself if you hide away your rejection letter or email and ignore it. You need to provide yourself with closure and figure out why you weren’t accepted to or wanted for said school or position.

Learn from each failure.

You know the saying “you learn something new every day”? Well, it’s true, even if it’s learning something new about yourself. If you fail or make a mistake and you don’t learn from it, you’re going to make that mistake again. Once you’ve figured out why you failed, figure out ways to fix that failure and achieve your next goal. Don’t make the same mistakes over and over again because you can’t take criticism.

Do not degrade yourself.

Just because you failed, does not mean you should beat yourself up about it. Telling yourself you’re a failure will only cause you to have lower self-esteem come to the next opportunity. Tell yourself “I can do this” instead of “I can’t do this” because you are your own best friend and your own worst enemy. You have to keep yourself motivated to succeed, no one’s going to do it for you.

If it’s meant to be it will be.

Cliche I know, but really, if something is truly meant to happen in your life it will. If you went into that interview and completely made a fool of yourself because you forgot to do some research on the company, did you really want to work there? You shouldn’t want to be in a situation because it’s convenient for you, you should be in a situation because you’re meant to be in that situation.

Just because you failed does not mean that you’re doomed to being a full-time failure, and just because you succeed doesn’t mean that you don’t have room to grow. We’re all trying to avoid failure, but why not embrace it? There is one thing that requires failure to find success and that one thing is life.

You are going to fail, there is no doubt about it. It’s what you take and learn from that failure that makes you successful. Don’t take failure with a grain of salt because it’s, and I exaggerate this, it is not the end of the world. Just take it as it is and move on, everything will fall into place and if it doesn’t then keep working for whatever it is that you want.

Don’t give up because of a few bumps in the road.

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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