I still remember standing there in my blue and silver sparkly dress.
People asked me where you went; I said you needed to leave early. I truly believed that you needed to.
A boy came up to me and asked me to dance, so I said yes, seeing no harm in it.
Before I knew it, he began to grab my butt and grind on me in the middle of the dance floor. I did not know what to do; I froze until the music ended and then left homecoming, alone and ashamed and guilty.
It turns out that, while I was being violated at the homecoming dance you were apparently my date for, you were off partying with your friends and the girl who you claimed you no longer had feelings for you.
How did I end up being the one apologizing?
It took me years to realize the mind games and the emotional abuse that you put me through.
Years to see that I did not deserve any of it.
Years to realize that it is okay to believe in myself.
Years to understand that I am worthy of love.
I still remember being in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee with my family.
We were having a great first day there -- Ripley's Believe It Or Not, Dick's Last Resort, etc. etc. etc. etc.
And then you texted me that you would not talk to me the whole week.
No explanation, just radio silence.
I cried at more tour stops in Tennessee than probably anyone ever.
And then I came home and you convinced me that whatever it was that happened was partially my fault.
That you would give me, give us, another chance.
Oh, I am so grateful
You told me you wanted to marry me.
Why so you could continually drag my self-confidence down the drain for the rest of my life?
Flowers do not make up for everything.
Club volleyball tryouts.
You knew I had them; you knew I was so nervous.
Radio silence. All day. Your specialty.
Making sure the only thing I had on my mind was you.
You were obsessed with drama.
You thrived off of it.
I got my SAT score back and was thrilled.
The guidance counselor told me that I should send them to my dream school right then.
"Ahhh well [your score] isn't bad, obvi you have to bring it up to get into [ your dream school] and all them."
No thanks to your extreme support, I was accepted into the honors college at that school.
And I did not even go there because I got a full tuition scholarship to another university.
A full tuition scholarship.
I guess you were wrong when you said I was not good enough, not smart enough.
I feel bad for the other girls who have fallen under your spell.
You should have a warning sign on your back.
You went to a party at a friend's house.
And then you expected me to feel bad for you for sleeping in the same bed as a guy and two girls.
I did not feel bad.
I was sad. I was mad. I was hurt. I was jealous.
Why did I still stay?
You tried to cause me permanent damage.
Too bad I am stronger than you.
I only hope that you get better.
I only hope that you do not continue this pattern.