Okay, as it stands, most college spring breaks fall around mid-terms, providing a nice breather right after the semester has peaked in intensity. The scheduling makes sense. Still, the term "spring break" is still a total misnomer, since for most students, this break takes place during winter's fickle end. I know that cold weather doesn't go away willingly - my aversion to being cold half the year is part of the reason I've wound up in Florida.
I'm not going to pass up a chance to see friends, family, and my dog because of unpleasant weather, but every time I'm home for "spring" break, I understand why many students flock to Florida for a getaway. Here's what we Floridian transplants go through when we return home in March:
1. The day before your trip, you check the weather forecast obsessively - maybe the weather up there won't be so bad.
Who are you kidding? It's going to be freezing. You're going to be miserable.
2. You rummage through your house, trying to find those winter clothes you never use.
Even when that cold snap hit Florida in January, you just layered up a bunch of your everyday clothes - there was no sense in pulling your house apart for a few days of slight chilliness. But you know that the north means business.
3. Your suitcase fills up right away, thanks to your puffy jacket and boots.
Boots + socks + airport security equals a headache. You'd rather wear flip-flops until you arrive at your destination, and leave all that winter nonce in your suitcase.
4. As the plane flies north, you can feel the change in temperature.
What have you gotten yourself into?
5. As you walk through the frigid jetway, from the plane to the terminal, you have to refrain from cursing.
Flights to and from Orlando are always full of children, and they are not ready to hear your anti-winter diatribes.
6. You shiver even more as you walk out to ground transportation.
It's not so bad until the wind whips around. You notice that nobody looks quite as miserable as you. At least your mom has a spare pair of gloves in her Subaru. And heated seats!
7. You take note of the gray-brown mounds of snow plaguing every parking lot.
For the most part, the lawns and roofs of your hometown are devoid of that vile white substance, but the evidence remains outside your local Acme and Wawa.
8. You apply lotion and lip balm non-stop.
Your skin hasn't been this dry since, well, the last time you were up here.
9. You second-guess the plans you make with your friends.
You'd love to see them, but it means going outside. Here in your mom's house, you have central heat, fluffy blankets, a fluffy dog, tea, beer. Is there any reason to venture out there?
10. You ultimately decide to head out and see your friends. With those who hate the cold, you bring up Hurricane Irma a bunch, to make them feel better about the nonsense going on outside.
With those who love the winter, you mostly communicate in quizzical looks.
11. You see a flurry and scowl. But you're glad you made it up here in March.
Going a whole year without a winter sounds appealing in theory, but it's bizarre in practice.
12. You make small talk with hometown acquaintances you see on the street. Your go-to response when they ask how you are is, "I'm cold."
But you mean to follow that statement up with, "I'm glad to be home."
13. Your friends talk about upcoming events, and you're sad that you won't be there.
Shivering through a St. Paddy's parade or adult egg hunt suddenly sounds super-appealing. Nobody you know in Florida would invite you to such events.
14. You note the lack of bugs.
Every time it's dipped below freezing in Florida, you've prayed for a real killing frost to take all the wasps and roaches and other terrible things away. It's never happened. At least you haven't seen a single centipede or camel cricket in Florida.
15. Toward the end of your trip, you check the forecast for Orlando. It's pretty cold in the morning, and that nice-looking high temperature somehow doesn't excite you like it should.
You just got here, and it's already time to leave.
16. You begin dreaming up your next trip home.
Hopefully it'll be in a warmer month than March!