As I sit here and eat a small, but delicious bowl of vanilla ice cream, chocolate syrup, and honey roasted peanuts I can't help but fall into the subsequent traveling into the depths of Facebook and Twitter - clicking links and reading many articles and adverts targeted towards women. I am listening to the amazing Lady Gaga in the background, currently stuck on a repeat of her latest song "Diamond Heart." I continue to scroll, chewing thoughtfully on each peanut as I read the marketing that is aimed at my millenial mind and I can't help but take a pause.
Take a listen to the song, it's really quite something:
Here are a few key points that resonated with me as I take yet anoter bite of this wonderful treat to my right.
Don't wear makeup.
Okay, Maybe you should wear makeup.
Lose weight fast! (It may or may not be the healthiest way, but who cares!)
You're not a mom if you only have pets!
Look at this really expensive top only a percentage can fit in!
And this is when it hits me. The majority of women are actually the ones who are firstly writing these articles, and secondly, giving out the opinions on whether or not you are a mom because you take care of twenty animals over one human child. I never actually realized that I am being targeted on a constant basis and by my own fellow gender.
Why is this?
I honestly think it's because we are overthinkers. If you really break it down and read the messages that some women are putting out there, they are coming from a place of only one side of the story.
"This is why you should or shouldn't do something."
I think we women are creatures of personal experience and we want to air on the side of caution when we are speaking to other women. For example: if for some reason I tried out a new makeup line and it broke my face out, I could write an entire speech on how makeup isn't even worth it. Which granted, yes is true for my personal testimony, but it isn't actually relevant to the other millions of women who never had a single issue with said makeup line.
Perhaps we are afraid of being judged, so we go right ahead and dish it out from a defensive position.
I can assume that women are already feeling the pressure of a grand scheme of weight loss, health and fitness, all sizes matter, what's trending in the latest clothes and bras, and even how you need to wake up in the morning. I can also understand that in some weird way, we are actually looking out for each other. (Girll, do not try this makeup. I know you have sensitive skin like me!) It has been quite opening for me in the hour I decided to peruse the internet for any kind of inspiration.
We want someone to relate to.
And that is absolutely okay! It always helps in the journey of life to find someone else who knows exactly what you are going through. Which brings me back to Lady Gaga. Her song Diamond Heart is about a girl who is a go-go dancer and she tells her clients about how she is this poor woman with a sob story. She ends the chours with this:
"I might not be flawless, but you know I got a diamond heart."
Which translates into, "Yeah,I am an absolute mess. I understand I am in this situation, but I am making the best of it. I am excellent otherwise."
And honestly, I believe that if there was any advice to be taken from anywhere it is this message of this song. Let me repeat that for good measure.
"I am an absolute mess. I understand that I am in this situation. I am excellent otherwise."
She is saying what a lot of women are afraid to just get on their soap box and say. I am this person and that's fine. And to just leave it at that. Not seek validation or otherwise. Now, I'm not here to contradict my general observations, but that's just it. An observation on how women are interacting with each other via social media. I promise the second you let go of the breath you were holding and just post the photo that you were scared to cos you "may or may not have double chins" will give you more than a thousand likes on an overly thought out photo. Just roll with it, I say!
Remember: I may not be flawless, but you know I got a diamond heart.