We’ve all been in the position of meeting someone, thinking they’re great, spending time with them, then entering that awkward stage of addressing the possibility there are deeper feelings between the two of you. Sometimes the best way to start this off is to simply express your feelings clearly; just tell the other person how you feel and brace yourself for whatever comes from that choice. One would think that this would result in a direct answer, and sometimes it will, but other times you’re still left without really knowing what is going on with the situation. Direct answers don’t seem to be in your near future, which is when personal reflection and honesty must be what guides your path.
Though we may not want to acknowledge them, there are warning signs that the person, whether they are interested in you or not, is not worth the effort and stress you are putting into them. Here are five of these signs to take into consideration before continuing on.
1. It’s always you, who has to initiate the conversation.
Whether it be through text or by phone call, it is the majority of the time, you, that has to make contact and attempt to set plans with this person, or even talk to them. If it’s getting to the point that you nearly feel uncomfortable attempting to contact them because you feel like it’s always you, and therefore you’re annoying them, that is a problem. No one should make you feel uncomfortable about trying to be around them, if they truly care about you.
2. You’re not a priority.
Of course, there are always other things that will come before you, in someone’s life, especially so early in the beginning stages of a possible relationship. But that does not mean you should not be somewhere on the list of what is important. If they bail on plans in favor of doing something else, or use the pretense of an excuse when plans come up, it’s a sign you’re falling way too low on that list. Every once in awhile, they should make you feel special too. If you have to ask them to make plans too many times and only get a yes once in awhile, they may very well be spending time with you for other reasons, and not because they genuinely enjoy your company.
3. Nothing is making progress.
They continue to spend time with you after you tell them how you feel, which should be a good sign. You still really enjoy each other’s company, nothing changes, and it seems like every time the two of you are together, everything is great. Yet, no matter how many great times you continue to have, nothing seems to make any progress in moving the relationship forward. You can only put in so much effort and accept a one-sided relationship for so long before you have to cut your loses and stop spending time with them.
4. They never attempt to share their feelings.
Even when you try to move the conversation in that direction, even lightly, the person does not budge and try to warm up to the conversation. It’s understandable, not everyone is comfortable discussing how they feel outright. So, even if they do not answer immediately with how they feel, when you share your feelings, if they continue to avoid even the slightest insight as time has passed, it may be time to reconsider.
5. They make you feel insignificant.
This may be one of the most important ones. If someone makes you feel like you are not worthy of attention, affection, or their time; it is absolutely time to rethink the situation. No one would or should make someone they care about in any way, feel like they are not worth it. It is important to identify what is causing it, if you feel that way. You cannot let someone else be in control of how you feel about yourself, because at the end of the day, it is you that you have to be with the most.
If not all of these apply to you, but some do, it should be a clear indicator that something is not right. Truthfully, no one enjoys having to consider these things and accept them as a reality. This does not make the other individual a bad person, but perhaps just not the match for you that you were hoping. Being honest with yourself and acknowledging these signs, is only a matter of seeing and understanding your own worth. You deserve to be treated as well as you are treating someone else. And if that is not happening, you have to walk away for yourself, because you know you deserve better.
If you’re still stuck on what to do, in a last attempt to straighten the situation out; biting the bullet and addressing it with the person, may be the last possible option. They are not always the most fun conversations to have, but you do deserve to know the truth and not have your feelings played with. Never let anyone make you think or feel otherwise.
