The Meat Head.
All gyms have their share of meat heads. Meat heads, usually guys, are frequent gym-goers who care about nothing but their workout. These are the guys who walk around the gym stiff armed, chest puffed out, as if they are carrying invisible suitcases. When they lift, they scream like banshees so everyone else knows they're lifting a lot. The only nutrition fact they believe in is the all-powerful protein content. If it doesn't have enough protein, they will not eat it. To ensure they receive ample protein, meat heads drink plenty of protein shakes. You know when they are drinking them, because you can here the vigorous rattling of their shake from across the gym. Minus their brains, the meat heads focus primarily on their upper body; leg day is often skipped. As a result, you see people with giant chests and arms and toothpicks for legs. Their disproportionate bodies look ridiculous, but based on how often they check themselves out in the mirror, they think they look damn good. For a normal gym-goer, meat heads can be intimidating, but have no fear, the gym is all they know. Meat head's care most about how much they can bench; their IQ tends to fall by the wayside. If you can't out-lift them, you can certainly out-smart them ... they're more likely to hit the gym than the books.
The Perpetual Squatters.
Perpetual squatters are primarily girls. When you enter the gym you will see them at the squat machine, and when you leave an hour later, they will still be there. The focus of their workout is by far their glutes. I am no expert on proper form, but I don't think squatting with your butt pushed out as far as you can is correct. Perpetual squatters always pick the machine in the center of all of the action to ensure that all the male gym-goers can marvel at their butt. The squatter may act like she doesn't know they're looking, but it's pretty obvious. Although their form may be more visually focused, these girls can squat much more weight than I can, and their butts do look damn good.
The CrossFitter.
If you want to feel like a wimp, watch a person do CrossFit. It's hard enough for people like me to do a pull-up, and these people do pull-ups like gymnasts. They catapult themselves up over the bar, contorting their body in unnatural ways. Then, to show off, they do hand stands on the wall, plus push-ups. CrossFitters are in a class above you, and they make sure you know it. If you don't do CrossFit, you don't exist. The most common injury among these gym-goers occurs in the neck, because of all the looking down on everyone else they do. These people live, eat, and breathe Cross-fit.
The Naked Man.
I can't speak for the women's locker room, but the naked man is a staple of the men's locker room. People get naked in locker rooms whether they are comfortable or not. The naked man is an example of extreme comfort. Their locker may be on one side of the room, but they always find a need to walk to the complete other side while nude. The naked man is also prone to dropping things. While they prance around the locker room in the nude, they never fail to drop something and bend down to pick it up in front of you. Whether you want to or not, you will see a show that you are somewhat tempted to tip for. The naked man loves brushing his teeth without clothes. No matter the time of day, they can be seen vigorously brushing their teeth, and all their junk and excess flab flaps around in unison. I have to tip my hat to these men, they have the highest amount of self-confidence in their bodies, but oftentimes they shouldn't.
Me.
I am of the people who wants to be fit, but hates going to the gym. I lack the muscle of meat heads, ass of the perpetual squatters, ability of the CrossFitter and the self-confidence of the naked man. My gym schedule is very sporadic, because I have to muster a lot of will power to go. You can usually find my kind in the back corner where the lights are dim and there are few mirrors. While we are working up a sweat benching the bar, meat heads immediately smell weakness and begin benching cars. Most gym-goers face the mirrors when they lift; we face away. Most of our workout consists of walking around uncomfortably unsure of what to do, and it only lasts about thirty minutes. People like me are much more comfortable away from the four people above, and we frequently prefer at-home workouts.
