New year, new me! Right? WRONG. The new year is an opportunity to become a new person with new goals or even a new lifestyle. The best way to get motivated is, of course, by New Year resolutions. Sadly, these don't always work out.

1. Living a healthier lifestyle.

This could be going to the gym more, drinking less, or eating healthier, but does it ever really work out? Why is it gym memberships spike in January? Because people promise themselves to live a healthier lifestyle. You walk into the gym and can barely get on a treadmill, but when February first rolls around, the gym feels almost deserted. So, you start to think...maybe I won't go to the gym as much, but I'll just drink less! According to my calculations, that will save me 100 calories per shot, times eight, for an average of two nights a week, so 1,600 calories! Think again. When your best friends start to prance around with a bottle of tequila, you know you can't help but get crunk. So, now you're not going to the gym or drinking less, but you think you'll make it up by eating healthier. Well, it's 1:00AM after a crazy night of dancing and making out with boys you'll never see again and your friend orders a pizza. The drunchies kick in and you can't resist, you're practically drooling! We all know the end to this story.

2. Not to be such a HOE.

Honestly, the most IMPORTANT New Year's resolution. Stick to these few key points (RULES) I've listed below and maybe we can find success together.

a. Do not hook up with boys who aren't your boyfriend.

b. Do not hook up with boys you don't know.

c. Do not hook up with boys who have girlfriends...

d. DO NOT HOOK UP WITH YOUR EX!!!

Let's face it, we aren't sticking to any of these. Especially the last one. At least we tried?

3. Get good grades.

This could mean spending more time at the library, studying a little more at home, or not skipping classes. But, WHAT IF you're hungover. WHAT IF you feel lethargic. WHAT IF you have to miss class to go to a sale or concert or need a nap.

4. Not being such a beez.

AKA: Don't be so sassy.

Being more compassionate, loving, and kind is a goal everyone strives for. But, HOLY SHIT it gets so F***ING annoying when your friend takes your top without asking. Look on the bright side, maybe this goal could of worked out for 20 minutes.

5. Be more adventurous.

Whether that be traveling more or taking risks, everyone seems to have this New Year's resolution. Everyone follows that one person on Instagram who decides to skydive or cliff jump in their free time. More adventure seeking activities can seem fun, but after looking up "skydiving deaths" on Google and coming back to reality, we come to the conclusion we aren't truly an adrenaline junky.