You’ve been through countless rounds of recruitment; experienced many sleepless nights stressing over whether or not you’ll join your dream house; spent hours perfecting your hair and makeup; and been asked what your major was more times than you could count on two hands; but by the power vested in the Greek gods you survived recruitment week and finally joined a sorority!
After all of the stress and work you went through, on top of all the excitement and great things you’ve heard about sorority life, it’s easy to have a dramatized and exaggerated idea of how amazing your sorority experience should be as a new member.
Unfortunately social media, movies, and TV shows all contribute to a preconceived over-the-top and distorted image of what sorority life is like. Members you talked to at each house during recruitment perpetuate this idealistic image by bragging to you about their formals, parties, and sisterhood events.
They hesitated telling you about the less glamorous aspects of sorority life, like the hidden fees you’ll have to pay and the new member test you’ll have to pass in order to get initiated.
It may be hard to connect the older members and find your perfect big. Your pledge class may get cliquey. New member meetings each week may be a drag and it's hard to get excited about mandatory study hours.
While these harsh realities and responsibilities may burst your bubble of what you thought sorority life was going to be like, it doesn’t mean that you won’t still have an amazing sorority experience in college during which you find your best friends, partners in crime, and future bridesmaids. It’s not your fault for having such high expectations right off the bat for your sorority experience, but high expectations are often accompanied by disappointment when those expectations are not met.
As I went though recruitment a few years ago I envisioned myself joining a sorority and instantly having 200 (average chapter size at TCU) new best friends and getting along with every single girl. Call me naive, but in my eagerness to join a sorority I actually believed it would be possible to bond and become super close with all of these girls within a week or so.
I mean, every girl I talked to at each house I visited during recruitment seemed to be bursting with love for her sisters and went off about much fun her sorority was, so obviously I should feel that way the second I joined, right? What I didn’t take into account was the fact that it is virtually impossible to get to know 200 girls right away, let alone be extremely close friends with every single one of them.
What I discovered, is that I felt slightly dissatisfied in my first few weeks as a new member because I set myself up for failure with my unrealistic assumptions about sorority life. If you’re a new member reading this right now and are experiencing similar struggles that I did, let me give you this important piece of advice:
HAVE PATIENCE.
True, long-lasting friendships don’t form in a day or even a week, it takes much longer than that to really form a strong friendship. Sure there will be some girls (most likely ones in your pledge class) who you’ll meet and instantly click with, but with others it can more time. One of my very best friends in my sorority lived a few rooms down the hall from me my freshman year, but we didn’t go from casual friends to best friends until the beginning of my sophomore year, which is something we now look back on and laugh about.
With so many girls in one chapter, it’s going to take some time for you to find the core few that you really mesh and get along with, so don’t panic if it hasn’t happened yet. Continue to involve yourself in your sorority by taking a leadership position, volunteering to help set up before an event, attending your pledge class activities, and other things like that. Getting involved in your sorority, especially in your first year of membership, is the best way to get the most out of your experience.
It’s okay that I didn’t become best friends with all 200 of the girls in my chapter. Who can honestly say they have 200 best friends? What I can say instead is that every girl in my sorority has qualities that I admire. I joined a sorority with an array of intelligent, funny, kind-hearted, motivated, and compassionate women I respect, and who hold me accountable to be the best person I can be.
Yes, sometimes meetings are boring and study hours can be tedious, but they are worth it a thousand times over, because with it comes membership with Sigma Kappa, a sorority which has given me incredible friendships that will last me a lifetime and the most wonderful memories I’ll never forget. Really, what more could I ask for?
