To the first love of my life,
I do not know if you will ever actually read this, but here it goes.
We did not meet at some fairytale place in some fairytale way. We met at a normal job as normal people. I thought you were cute, you thought I was pretty. Everything after that was a blur. We started hanging out, going on dates, watching movies. The usual things.
That is when I saw the real you come to light. You would never let me see your phone, never tell me about your friends, never put me on any of your social media. I did not want to believe that you were that kind of guy. I wanted to believe that us being together would change you. I wanted to know that I was good enough. I wanted to know I was the perfect girl for you. We had our share of ups and downs. We made each other so angry but yet I could not stand when I was not with you. You knew everything about me, the bad and the good. All I wanted was to heal your pain and your sadness. I wanted to be the person you turned to for support. I had never had this feeling before and I really was not sure what it meant. I wanted to be with you all the time and I would get super jealous of any other girl looking at you.
A year later I went to college. I was around all these new people and yet I still could not get you out of my head. You told me a long distance relationship would never work but I did not believe you. You still had my heart and I could not figure out how to get it back. I tried liking guy after guy but none made me feel the way you did. It was a bad relationship because I could not trust you at all but I still wanted you and only you. I dreamed about you pretty much every night for a year. My head was trying to let you go but my heart could not. My freshman year of college was gone and all of it was spent being sad over you.
I am not sure what changed my mind but something happened my sophomore year of college and I realized I did not want you nor need you anymore. You did not deserve anything else from me. I did not want to be sad anymore and I wanted MY heart back. You once told me that I was too dependent on people. I can finally say that I do not need you in my life. I have never been happier then I am right now, thanks to you. I now know what love is and to always be careful who you give your heart to. So thanks for helping me see how strong I really am.
