My best friend and I came up with the best question to ask a guy to test his intelligence. The question is: "Where is Bosnia and Herzegovina?"
What the hell does that have to do with anything, you're probably wondering. Let me explain.
We decided to meet this guy from Tinder, as all good stories start. Well, I didn't decide, I thought I was having lunch with my friend like we normally did, but I ended up getting dragged into this "date." The guy shows up, he's decent looking, polite, what's not to like? He's a charming gentleman talking to my friend, I'm just trying not to be awkward because I'm pretty much third-wheeling. As the conversation continues, he asks about my nationality because duh, my name is a dead giveaway.
So I bring up the question.
He thought about it hard, we could tell. Finally, he blurts out, Is that in South America? I almost threw my taco at him. Just kidding, y'all.
That's not even the right continent. After he left, I turn to my friend and go, "Yeah, you can do better." We both burst out laughing. Needless to say, things didn't work out with him.
Okay, I still don't get it, how does that have anything to do with dating, you're thinking. For starters, I am a first generation Bosnian American and this is exactly the type of thing that worries me about going out on dates. If a guy has no idea, not even a clue that Bosnia is in Europe, I'm out.
I know that sounds harsh, but I'm just trying to be real here. Without basic geography skills or respect for other cultures, there is no relationship. When your family risked their lives to come to the United States, you can't risk dating a guy who has no idea where you even came from.
I don't want to put all guys down though because while I have heard some embarrassing answers, a lot of guys are genuinely interested in learning more about my background. For me, it's really important, it's not the only thing, but it's just a big part of who I am.
SEE ALSO: Why Soccer Is More Than Just A Sport To Bosnians
Why don't you just date a Bosnian guy, you might ask. It's not that easy. I'm convinced they're all hiding in a cave somewhere. And when you do find one, he's nothing special. Sure, he may be Bosnian, but what about the rest of the things you want?
So why don't you just go to Bosnia, you suggest. Now, remember: I was born and raised in the United States. No matter how well you speak the language, you will always be known as the American, or as we say in Bosnia, Amerikanka. Good luck finding a guy who isn't just after your passport, girlfriend. You're too American for Bosnia and too foreign for the country you were born in. Weird, huh?
So back to American guys, you guess. I asked my mom what she would do if I wanted to marry an American guy or even a guy with a different nationality. My mom's an extremely accepting person and said that more than anything, as long as I was happy, it didn't matter. But wait- having an American last name would just not sound right. See how complicated it is?
Not to mention dealing with those weekly Skype phone calls from your relatives where they keep asking if you've got a man yet. I'm just trying to get my degree like you guys told me to, please chill.
Don't get me wrong, I would love to find a Bosnian soulmate. Someone who would blast Dino Merlin songs in the car and make palacinke with me at 2 a.m. Someone who would actually travel halfway across the world with me in a heartbeat. Maybe he's reading this, who knows. What I do know is that dating will always be a rollercoaster, but at least I'll have some pretty good stories to tell until he comes along.
