College parties: the events that seemingly confirm that students have begun their secondary education. Unlike other college students, I didn’t start my college party experience until almost half a semester in. Also, unlike most, my party was fueled by raging music and drinks, which seems mild in comparison to what we see in today’s media.
The party was comprised by a small group of friends with sodas, popcorn, and ice cream. There wasn’t loud, ear-bashing music, but there was plenty of laughter and some old 80's tracks that a friend of mine played in the back. This party doesn’t sound like the huge shock that most people expect, but it meant something to me. This party confirmed that I had entered into adulthood.
It hit me, as I sat there while the laughter echoed off the walls, that this was it. I had finally made it into college and successfully made it through the first month. I had gotten into a somewhat normal schedule, learned how to take care of myself fully, and I even registered to vote. In this moment, I realized I am an adult. I have responsibilities, and people expect things from me. Back in high school, I experienced these same things, but they didn’t carry as much weight as they do now. Most importantly of all, I realized how scared I am. My actions carry the significance that they didn't before.
I don’t know if things are going to go smoothly in the future, and I don’t know where I’ll be in twenty years. In all honesty, I don’t even know what’s going to happen in the next few months. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready, but I do know that it will eventually be ok.
When I was in high school, one of my teachers had a break down in front of us. He went off on this rant about failing and things being okay when he seemed obviously bothered by what he was saying. Back then, I didn’t understand what he was so upset with and why he kept saying “it’s okay” . But now, in college, I think I understand what he meant. As an adult you’re going to be afraid of the unknown, if you can afford this or that, if you’re going to get the job, and that’s okay. It’s okay to accept that you're human and that you’re afraid, but that shouldn’t be the end. Your fear shouldn’t control how you live your life.
As an adult I am going to have to make scary decisions, and they aren’t going to be easy. I am going to have to make sacrifices too and I may not be able to always do what I want. At the same time, it’s beautiful that I have the freedom to make these choices. I can learn and explore different opportunities. I can be afraid of what consequences of my actions will bring. That’s okay. If I allow myself to grow and do whatever I can, then everything will be okay. Things don’t always turn out well, but they turn out for the best and I know that I’m ready for the future.
