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28 Hilariously Candid Thoughts You Have When Applying For Your First Big Kid Job

Excuse me...is there a manual for this thing called adulting?

Shelby Gerweck

Sep 11, 2018

Eastern Michigan University

Unsplash

I've recently started looking for jobs to actually apply for, and finally finalized a resume that I feel is worthy enough for potential employers...maybe. This whole experience has been crazy stressful, and I feel like I am not the only one who has been through all the thoughts that come with trying to adult. It's a crazy ride, and unfortunately, there are some schools and programs that really don't prepare you for trying to start your career.

So, kids, this is what you have to look forward to when you're a jobless college graduate.

1. How on earth do you write a resume?

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2. What is a cover letter?

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3. Oh...this looks like an interesting position....

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4. What salary am I qualified to ask for?

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5. Okay...I am soooo NOT qualified for that!

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6. YOU WANT 5 YEARS EXPERIENCE FOR AN ENTRY-LEVEL JOB?!?!

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7. I am never going to get a job....

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8. Can I go back to elementary school?

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9. Am I allowed to pay someone to write my resume?

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10. You mean I have to rewrite my cover letter?

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11. This resume looks like a preschooler wrote it.

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12. Why did no one teach me how to do this??

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13. Is there a manual for how to apply for jobs?

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14. Calls Mom So, everything you've ever taught me has been to prepare me for life...so why do I feel so unprepared??

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15. Please let there be one employer who finds me interesting!

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16. LinkedIn? I thought that was just a spam email!

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17. Oh. My. Gosh. The salary is $45,000?!?!

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18. How do people get multiple offers? I can't even get ONE!

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19. Email notification MAYBE IT'S FINALLY A JOB OFFER!

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20. THEY WANT TO INTERVIEW ME?!

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21. Maybe this whole getting a job thing isn't so hard after all...

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22. Clicks "Submit Application" button NO! Wait! I wasn't ready!

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23. Wait...how does one look for jobs?

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24. What do you mean by 2-3 years of experience? Does McDonald's count?

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25. Reads job description What do these words even mean?!

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26. Guess I just have to expect that I'm going to be living in my mom's basement for the rest of my life...

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27. I have NOTHING to wear to my interview!!!

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28. This isn't so hard...I got this!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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28 Hilariously Candid Thoughts You Have When Applying For Your First Big Kid Job

Excuse me...is there a manual for this thing called adulting?

1. How on earth do you write a resume?

2. What is a cover letter?

3. Oh...this looks like an interesting position....

4. What salary am I qualified to ask for?

5. Okay...I am soooo NOT qualified for that!

6. YOU WANT 5 YEARS EXPERIENCE FOR AN ENTRY-LEVEL JOB?!?!

7. I am never going to get a job....

8. Can I go back to elementary school?

9. Am I allowed to pay someone to write my resume?

10. You mean I have to rewrite my cover letter?

11. This resume looks like a preschooler wrote it.

12. Why did no one teach me how to do this??

13. Is there a manual for how to apply for jobs?

14. *Calls Mom* So, everything you've ever taught me has been to prepare me for life...so why do I feel so unprepared??

15. Please let there be one employer who finds me interesting!

16. LinkedIn? I thought that was just a spam email!

17. Oh. My. Gosh. The salary is $45,000?!?!

18. How do people get multiple offers? I can't even get ONE!

19. *Email notification* MAYBE IT'S FINALLY A JOB OFFER!

20. THEY WANT TO INTERVIEW ME?!

21. Maybe this whole getting a job thing isn't so hard after all...

22. *Clicks "Submit Application" button* NO! Wait! I wasn't ready!

23. Wait...how does one look for jobs?

24. What do you mean by 2-3 years of experience? Does McDonald's count?

25. *Reads job description* What do these words even mean?!

26. Guess I just have to expect that I'm going to be living in my mom's basement for the rest of my life...

27. I have NOTHING to wear to my interview!!!

28. This isn't so hard...I got this!

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There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

It's mandatory to have these conversations.

1. What do you do for a living?

2. What's your favorite color?

3. Do you have any siblings?

4. What's your favorite television show?

5. When is your birthday?

6. What's your biggest goal in life?

7. If you had three wishes granted to you by a genie, what would they be?

8. What's your favorite childhood memory?

9. If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?

10. Are you a cat or a dog person?

11. Do you believe in a religion or any sort of spiritual power?

12. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be?

13. What is your ideal date night?

14. Who was/is your celebrity crush?

15. What's a good way to cheer you up if you're having a bad day?

16. Do you have any tattoos?

17. Can you describe yourself in three words?

18. What makes you the most nervous in life?

19. What's the best gift you have ever received?

14. Calls Mom So, everything you've ever taught me has been to prepare me for life...so why do I feel so unprepared??

19. Email notification MAYBE IT'S FINALLY A JOB OFFER!

22. Clicks "Submit Application" button NO! Wait! I wasn't ready!

25. Reads job description What do these words even mean?!

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