28 Hilariously Candid Thoughts You Have When Applying For Your First Big Kid Job

Excuse me...is there a manual for this thing called adulting?

Sep 11, 2018

I've recently started looking for jobs to actually apply for, and finally finalized a resume that I feel is worthy enough for potential employers...maybe. This whole experience has been crazy stressful, and I feel like I am not the only one who has been through all the thoughts that come with trying to adult. It's a crazy ride, and unfortunately, there are some schools and programs that really don't prepare you for trying to start your career.

So, kids, this is what you have to look forward to when you're a jobless college graduate.

28 Hilariously Candid Thoughts You Have When Applying For Your First Big Kid Job

Excuse me...is there a manual for this thing called adulting?

1. How on earth do you write a resume?

2. What is a cover letter?

3. Oh...this looks like an interesting position....

4. What salary am I qualified to ask for?

5. Okay...I am soooo NOT qualified for that!

6. YOU WANT 5 YEARS EXPERIENCE FOR AN ENTRY-LEVEL JOB?!?!

7. I am never going to get a job....

8. Can I go back to elementary school?

9. Am I allowed to pay someone to write my resume?

10. You mean I have to rewrite my cover letter?

11. This resume looks like a preschooler wrote it.

12. Why did no one teach me how to do this??

13. Is there a manual for how to apply for jobs?

14. *Calls Mom* So, everything you've ever taught me has been to prepare me for life...so why do I feel so unprepared??

15. Please let there be one employer who finds me interesting!

16. LinkedIn? I thought that was just a spam email!

17. Oh. My. Gosh. The salary is $45,000?!?!

18. How do people get multiple offers? I can't even get ONE!

19. *Email notification* MAYBE IT'S FINALLY A JOB OFFER!

20. THEY WANT TO INTERVIEW ME?!

21. Maybe this whole getting a job thing isn't so hard after all...

22. *Clicks "Submit Application" button* NO! Wait! I wasn't ready!

23. Wait...how does one look for jobs?

24. What do you mean by 2-3 years of experience? Does McDonald's count?

25. *Reads job description* What do these words even mean?!

26. Guess I just have to expect that I'm going to be living in my mom's basement for the rest of my life...

27. I have NOTHING to wear to my interview!!!

28. This isn't so hard...I got this!

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It's easy to overlook some of these, even just one - don't.

#1) Rome, Italy

#2) Cairo, Egypt

#3) Cape Town, South Africa

#4) Paris, France

#5) Bangkok, Thailand

#6) Buenos Aires, Argentina

#7) Athens, Greece

#8) Washington, D.C. USA

#9) New Delhi, India

#10) Canberra, Australia

"It's 75% drinking, 20% Candy Land, and the floor is molten lava."

Step #1: Prepare the "castle"

Step #2: Set up spaces

Step #3: Pick teams

Step #4: Begin

Step #5: Make moves

Step #6: "Play on, playa."

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14. Calls Mom So, everything you've ever taught me has been to prepare me for life...so why do I feel so unprepared??

19. Email notification MAYBE IT'S FINALLY A JOB OFFER!

22. Clicks "Submit Application" button NO! Wait! I wasn't ready!

25. Reads job description What do these words even mean?!

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