Monday I woke up earlier than I have in a while. I put on my “big girl” clothes and this odd feeling began to sink in. I was about to be “adulting” and I was terrified.
I left super early for the chance of any problems, traffic, natural disaster, etc. I got my coffee on the way, and was sitting in my car with fear of looking anxious by showing up too early. I also was trying to compose myself because I was freaking out. This was my first attempt at my future and I couldn’t mess it up on day one.
I finally got myself together enough to walk sure-footed into my fancy building. I looked around and felt like a lost sheep the whole way to the office. I arrived and met my new boss. I was slightly reassured by the soft smile on her face and her welcoming voice. I also felt better due to the fact there was no way she was much older than my sister.
She took me on a tour of the fancy office where I would be spending time for the next semester. I was a bit in awe especially when it came to my office. I actually had an office, not some dinky cubicle. I had a room that was my dedicated space. I know it doesn’t seem like much, but it was a little thing that eased a bit of the worry.
My boss then told me that we had a department meeting at 10. I would be meeting all sorts of people and barely had a voice due to the sorority recruitment I had in the weekend prior. I sat in my office unsure of what to do until the meeting. I checked the email the company provided me, although it was empty since it was my first day. I tried to look busy even though I had no idea what I was doing until my boss came and got me for the meeting.
I sat down with my planner and pen in hand because I felt like I shouldn’t show up empty-handed. The other members of the department started making their way in. I introduced myself, attempting to fake some form of confidence. They were all nice people, but for some reason I was still petrified. They began talking about the upcoming events and tasks. I had no idea what was going on so I just randomly would jot things down in an act to not seem completely lost.
They talked about not only upcoming work, but also their personal lives. I just chuckled along as an act to try to fit in to the group that seems to be long established. I didn’t ask questions and didn’t input because I didn’t want to seem like the kid in the room. I just hoped for the best to come.
I returned to my office and received my first task. It was nothing too crazy; just inputting information in to a spreadsheet. I tried to work as quickly and effectively as possible to make a good impression. I finished it and then I had to take my lunch break. I hadn’t brought anything so I walked a couple blocks over to get something, and to give myself some time to decompress and stop freaking out inside.
I got back from my lunch unsure what my next job would be. I walked to my boss’ office to ask her what to do. She was with a group of co-workers and I felt like I was intruding. I asked what she needed me to do and she put me to work on the job that seems to be one of my main roles. I kept up my nose buried in the work as to not disturb anyone else. I did that until it was time for me to go.
I walked out of the office wanting to do a bit of a victory dance because I made it. I survived day one and through all the fear and intimidation, I actually loved it. I know its only day 1, but it is going to be a great semester.
