Finding Your Value

Finding Your Value

It's NOT Monetary & It's NOT Superficial
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Nowadays it seems to be getting more difficult for us to find purpose or value in our values, to find something that makes us feel worth something. However, I feel that the reason we are having such trouble is because we are looking in all the wrong places. One of the biggest lessons I had to learn in life is to STOP trying to find my worth from other people. I used to value the opinions of others so much more than those of my own. I didn't feel pretty enough unless I received a compliment that day or didn't give a guy a chance because a singular person didn't find him attractive. That is why I was so miserable during my teenage years.

Since I've been in college, I started to learn that there are going to be a lot of people in your life that don't value you and their opinions will not be ones that are going to better you. Many people will often want to see you fall on your face and increase their value by decreasing yours. This is where you need to take a step back, look in the mirror and start seeing your value, your worth.

My biggest piece of advice is to not just look at the superficial things. Make sure you focus on what is inside of you that makes you valuable. What are your passions in life? What drives you to succeed? Be proud of these things. Use that passion and determination to go beyond the opinions of others and start giving yourself some recognition for all you do.

Look around you and see who is in your life that truly supports you on both your bad and good days. These people value you, and you should do the same. True friendships add an immense amount of value to your life and will be the ones to remind you of yours even when you can't see it. They will be able to show you what is worthy inside you that makes them want to stay around.

Look at your family and see value. See a support system who values you for who you are, what you are, and all that you will be. Learn to appreciate this because at your lowest points, they are the ones who will be there.

Now look back at yourself. Tell yourself today and every day that you are worthy. You are valuable. Not because other people tell you that you are, but because you know that you are. You bring something to this world that no one else can because no one else is you. That is why you are beautifully and uniquely made. Not because of what someone else tells you, but because of who you are. Make a conscious effort today to appreciate yourself and validate all that you are so that no one else can take that away from you.

Cover Image Credit: Google Images

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Everything You Will Miss If You Commit Suicide

The world needs you.
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You won’t see the sunrise or have your favorite breakfast in the morning.

Instead, your family will mourn the sunrise because it means another day without you.

You will never stay up late talking to your friends or have a bonfire on a summer night.

You won’t laugh until you cry again, or dance around and be silly.

You won’t go on another adventure. You won't drive around under the moonlight and stars.

They’ll miss you. They’ll cry.

You won’t fight with your siblings only to make up minutes later and laugh about it.

You won’t get to interrogate your sister's fiancé when the time comes.

You won’t be there to wipe away your mother’s tears when she finds out that you’re gone.

You won’t be able to hug the ones that love you while they’re waiting to wake up from the nightmare that had become their reality.

You won’t be at your grandparents funeral, speaking about the good things they did in their life.

Instead, they will be at yours.

You won’t find your purpose in life, the love of your life, get married or raise a family.

You won’t celebrate another Christmas, Easter or birthday.

You won’t turn another year older.

You will never see the places you’ve always dreamed of seeing.

You will not allow yourself the opportunity to get help.

This will be the last sunset you see.

You’ll never see the sky change from a bright blue to purples, pinks, oranges and yellows meshing together over the landscape again.

If the light has left your eyes and all you see is the darkness, know that it can get better. Let yourself get better.

This is what you will miss if you leave the world today.

This is who will care about you when you are gone.

You can change lives. But I hope it’s not at the expense of yours.

We care. People care.

Don’t let today be the end.

You don’t have to live forever sad. You can be happy. It’s not wrong to ask for help.

Thank you for staying. Thank you for fighting.

Suicide is a real problem that no one wants to talk about. I’m sure you’re no different. But we need to talk about it. There is no difference between being suicidal and committing suicide. If someone tells you they want to kill themselves, do not think they won’t do it. Do not just tell them, “Oh you’ll be fine.” Because when they aren’t, you will wonder what you could have done to help. Sit with them however long you need to and tell them it will get better. Talk to them about their problems and tell them there is help. Be the help. Get them assistance. Remind them of all the things they will miss in life.

For help, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

Cover Image Credit: Brittani Norman

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To The Girl Who Hasn't Yet Found Herself, Keep Looking

You will eventually find her in all the right places, I promise.

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They say you are supposed to go through your awkward transition phase during middle school, but you still feel like you haven't quite figured it out. They say you are supposed to join a club in order to "find yourself", but then you end up sitting in the back watching everyone laugh and catch up. You feel out of place--like you're existing somewhere you just don't belong. Let me be the voice telling you that you are exactly where you are meant to be right now. Every decision you've ever made has led you to this place. This is, of course, much harder to grasp than to just say. Really though, you're doing just fine!

Finding out the things you don't like to do are just important as discovering your passions when it comes to finding your true self. Don't be afraid to join that club, talk to the girl next to you in class, and explore your interests. You might hate it. You might want to run away, but at least you're learning about yourself and where your comfort zone lies. Finding yourself is a life long process, so don't expect an Aha! moment where you have finally hit your destination. Think of it more as a sense of confidence of comfortability in who you are and what you stand for.

Stepping away from friends and family for some time may also lead you to who you are. Often, we grow up and mature only to have the same beliefs, morals, and political opinions as our parents. It's not our fault and we aren't childish, we just trust our parent's judgment and see their conscience as nothing but truth. Part of gaining independence is questioning your own biased beliefs and reevaluating them so they reflect your character better. Same goes with friends. Try to spend a Friday night in with yourself. See what you do. Do you watch a movie? Do you catch up on homework? Do you paint your nails? What is it that makes you feel happy when nobody else is around? By considering the answer to this question, you're one step closer to figuring this whole life thing out.

You may also want to try stepping away from your phone. Your social media (this shouldn't come as a surprise) is giving you the false idea that everyone around you knows exactly what they're doing and enjoys doing it all. Not true. So not true actually, everyone else is struggling to find out just who they are. You and your phone need some distance.

Finding yourself doesn't just happen. You need to explore the world around you and you'll eventually find out where your place is. Be patient with the process and know the right steps will surface when you're ready to take them. Be kind to yourself and have the bravery to discover the girl inside you (I hear she's really cool).

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