I had arrived just in time. Any earlier, I would have joined them and walked together. Any later, I wouldn't have heard what they were about to say. However, that particular night at that particular time, while walking casually behind them, I heard them uttering my name followed by the phrase spoken in a negative tone: "She's crazy."

I was shocked to hear my name. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time.

And, as soon as I entered the frame, the whole scene silenced and filled with an awkward atmosphere, confirming they were talking about me. The girls who were talking about me seemed nice. From the moment I met them at the first rush events, they seemed like the nicest and friendliest girls I've ever met. But, after hearing my name, I felt a tingle in my heart and a mix of emotions. Confusion, sadness, and fear filled my mind for the remainder of that night, hoping that I misinterpreted the situation.
The next day, there was another rush event for the fraternity.

After contemplating for the whole day, I was indecisive whether or not I wanted to go. Those girls were ultimately going to be there. If I did decide to go, I would go with no regrets and finish what I started. However, that meant I could be subjected to more judgment or ridicule. If I didn't, I would spend my whole life regretting cowardly running away and not committing to the promise I made myself to get involved in Rutgers.

Nevertheless, unable to absorb what I heard the night before and just feeling hurt, I was resolute to not go to that last rush event. I never wanted to see those girls again at that point in time. But, I knew that I should... At least, the universe also hinted I should. And, little hints throughout that day leading up to the rush event seemed to compel me to go. While sitting in Statistics class, I was convinced I would not attend the rush event. For the last 30 minutes of class, my statistics teacher was so adamant on connecting to the class asked about everyone's favorite movie quote.

My professor uttered, "I am responsible for myself, but not responsible for what other people say about me." Feeling this quote directly related to my situation, I realized the universe seemed to be directly speaking to me.

My professor then followed up with his second favorite quote: "Everything will be OK in the end. If it's not OK, it's not the end" by John Lennon.

Feeling empowered and reminded that one's self-worth is determined by oneself, the words the girls uttered the night before held less weight. My professor was right. It was not OK because it was not the end. And so, that night I was able to live with no regrets and end the last rush event I will ever go to in my life.

And, like I guessed it. I did not get invited to join the fraternity. Whoopie! However, I'm glad I tried my best and remained true to my promise. And, I probably wouldn't have enjoyed an environment, where I would feel not welcome or come out of my shell enough. Ultimately, I am not fit for the fraternity lifestyle and do not have the personality type to be outgoing enough.

And, although I felt somewhat down due to the rejection, the universe again seemed to send me more signs. A couple of days ago, I saw the glimpse of blue coming up from the car floor. I picked up the pin from the car floor reading "You Will Be Found." Ironically, I had lost that pin a couple of weeks ago, and I did "find it." It was a pin with the song title of the Broadway show "Dear Evan Hansen."

Understanding the musical focused on an introverted boy, who realizes that everyone has a voice and would find his place in life through his friends and family, comforted me. Although I might not be comfortable at the fraternity or as outgoing, everyone eventually finds their place and just needs to smile.

The weirdest things happen when you just sit down and just follow the flow of things. Essentially, I just needed to breathe. Although things aren't completely OK right now because I still kinda bummed because of the rejection, I have a funny feeling the universe is nudging me that it's not the end. Things will get better.