As a woman, there are so many stipulations that are put on us in a relationship. Many women fulfill these stipulations unknowingly. Many do cook, clean, and do not mind having children. Although, what about the women who would rather order Chinese takeout than cooking or what about the women who are not as tidy? Also, what happens to the woman who is not looking for children? It's hard to find a new relationship when you are the odd man out. It also takes a lot of guts to start looking for a relationship or to be open to the idea of a relationship when you have been hurt before. Well, ladies, it's time to let go of the inhibitions and turn in your player card because you can always find what you are looking for.
1. Let It Go
Sometimes you have to let go of things to allow new things to come forth. When you are holding on to bad blood with your exes and friends, it can put a damper on the person you are. Therefore, you need to let go of things holding you back. If it is an ex, tell them how you feel. Let them know how they hurt you. Tell them you want to try being friends or you want absolutely nothing to do with them. If you are having problems with your buddies, talk it out or let them go. Some people are not worth saving, and it is better for you to realize that now. So evaluate your current relationships in your life and decide whether they are holding you back or propelling you forward.
2. Release the Aspect of You Not Being Good Enough; Be You
The truth is that you are a unique character, and there is no one like you in all of seven billion people on earth. With that being said, it could take a time to find someone who appreciates the intricacies of your character. Do not change yourself to meet your wants for a relationship. A relationship is only successful when both people are comfortable with who they are and who their partner is. It takes time to find a person worthy of your existence so don't freak out when they just don't come rolling up as soon as you want them to.
3. Just Let It Be
Some things about yourself will not change without age or a set of events. If you do not cook, that's okay. If you are kind of messy, it's alright. If you do not want kids, you do not have to have them. Leave your wants alone. Realize that your outlooks on these situations make up the person you are.Do not try to change or compromise your character and personality for someone else because that just leads to resentment down the road. These qualities and values can be talked about in the beginning stages of a blossoming relationship.* If they are mentioned early then there is no confusion as the relationship progresses.
* Let your partner know if things can be changed if you were to be together. You don't have to compromise or fall victim to society's view of a woman in a relationship, but if you do feel that you would be more open to changing things with another person there then that is fine.
4. All The Delusion In Your Head Will Bring You To Your Knees
Do not fight the truth. You cannot start a new relationship if you are in several others. Hand in your player card. Of course it will feel better to go sleep with your friends with benefits after a rejection, but you have to learn how to deal with pain. You cannot start a new relationship if you are too focused on keeping the names straight of the fifty booty calls on your phone. You will catch feelings for your friends with benefits in due time and it will hurt when they do not return the same feelings. Do not think that friends with benefits will always end with a relationship. All the delusions that pop culture have placed into your head will bring you to your knees to cry or either pray. There is nothing wrong with crying or praying, but why go to your knees to do it. It's hard getting back up .
5. Do Not Try To Fit a Hand Inside Of Yours When You Know It Doesn't Belong
Do not force something that you know is not going to happen. Relationships come with time. They do not appear right after you leave one. It can definitely be hard being alone but cherish the time you have with yourself. The beginnings of relationships are awkward. They come in all shapes of friendships, strangers, and estranged best friends. You never know when it is coming, but don't force it. Truth is, if you have to force a relationship then it's not going to turn out well anyway. The best relationships are the unforced and unseen.
I am blossoming a new relationship. I always said that I did not want one in college because I see how couples are at my school, they are clingy. I am a clingy person at times, but there are some moments when I just want my space. The relationship is coming in the form of an estranged friend. I can see it blossoming, but it is scary. Mainly because I have been fulfilling loneliness with relationships that not leading anywhere or settling for people below my standards. This guy that I am talking to is not what I expected my future relationship partner to be like but he is also everything that I expected. It's in the new stages, but I can tell that it is leading more to a relationship than anything else. I can also say that handing in my player card, cutting off unhealthy relationships, loving myself, and realizing the truth made it easier for me to understand what I am currently doing and what I want to pursue in my love life. Clearing out the clutter makes things more clear that would be foggy before. I realize that being in a relationship with this current person would be the best thing that could happen to me.
So if you are reading this article because you want to find a new relationship, I would say try these tips. I would also say to evaluate everything in your life and see if a new relationship is what you want. Remember the relationships are not there to feel a void or to make you happier. You should be the source of your happiness, and you should be okay with who you are. Relationships are for people who want to share their triumphs and downfalls and who could not imagine going through their beautiful life alone for another moment. So good luck in your love life!
~Inspired by "Let It Go" by James Bay. Check out his album "Chaos and the Calm."
