No matter how bright the sun shines or how blue the sky is it still lurks, dark and insatiable. It makes you feel unhappy and in misdirection. Everyone feels this way at least once in their life and believe me when I say that it’s normal to feel like you don’t know what you’re going to do with your life. When you start to feel like life is so pointless that all you do is lay in bed and stay sad, then something may be wrong. Not participating in everyday tasks like going to work or class is a sign of suicide. While there are many other signs, the state of the matter is that a person feels so hopeless that they want to end it all.
I know this because I felt like this once. I know it’s indescribable and unbearable. You feel like you can’t breathe and when you are happy for a moment you get hung up on the notion that the other show will drop eventually. That it’s only a matter of time before everything comes crashing down on you, once again.
If you are reading this and you’re feeling that way, then please listen. You may think that your differences are the problem, but it’s the exact opposite. It’s what makes you amazing. Those unique qualities are what others love about you, whether you believe it or not. I remember thinking that something was wrong with me because I felt this way but let me tell you, nothing is wrong with you. People get unhappy sometimes and what I learned the hard way is that you can’t get out of this hole by yourself.
Finding those people or that one person to lean on during this time is so important. One person is all it takes. If you feel betrayed that the people you love didn’t notice that you’re unhappy, then you have to be upfront and tell them. More people care about you than you think. I figured that out the day my parents found out about me.
I know you’re scared, I know that you feel like the world would be better without you in it but please find something, anything, to be happy about. If you’re only happy when you read, think about what you could do with that talent and go for it. Tether yourself to that one thing and think of the joy it brings you. I know what you’re thinking, “One thing? Like that will make a difference!” but once you find that one thing to live for, it then becomes easier to find another and another and another. That one joy is connected to other things you may find that you love and bam! The strings will start to come rushing in.
Don’t think that that one thing is silly or pointless because if you love it then it’s worthy because you are not pointless and have a lot to offer to this world. One of my favorite books says “see what’s really there.” That’s what you have to do. See not only the bad in the world but the good, because while the dark parts are pitch black, the bright parts are a kaleidoscope of colors and make it worth the fight. The way you’re feeling now is not permanent, I promise you. One tether, that’s all it takes. Take that first step and the rest will come naturally. Look around you and find your tether. Believe me, it’s there. All you have to do is look.
