Finding Myself In College

I tend to keep a lot of things in my head. I do not let them out until I think them through about a thousand times. I admitted to myself that I was not as happy as I thought I was. I felt like something was weighing me down, so I finally took initiative and set it free.

I let the public perceive me to have thick skin. I try my best to not let anyone see me vulnerable, so I act like I do not care most of the time. But, I do. I care a lot. I probably care too much. That is my problem. I care for people more than I get in return. I get let down, but I always tell myself that people are good and they have good intentions. That they did not mean to hurt me. But It is a never-ending cycle.

This summer made me get out of my college atmosphere and find my priorities. I am not the same person I was two years ago. I have the same values, but I am stronger now. I am more independent than I ever was before. I have different things that make me happy. I used to be the girl who needed a lot of friends, and I would do anything to keep them. I was extremely loyal, but never got anything in return, except the feeling of being not cared for. I think I reached the point of my life where I do not need extra people to make me happy. I have who I need, so I grew out of them.

College is supposed to be the place and time where people find who they are. I am so lucky I was able to find myself in such a short amount of time. I have seen people graduate and become so afraid of change, that they get stuck in limbo. That motivates me to constantly better myself. I consider the things I have to say goodbye to, like closing a chapter of my life. It shaped me into who I became and who I have yet to become. I do not regret any of the people I have met or any stupid things I have done. They will always be apart of who I am. But. as time and people change, so did I. I learned to be happy with myself, and not to live life with regrets. I will never continue to grow as a person unless I continue to follow my heart and live for myself.