As my freshman year of college comes to a close, I’m starting to reflect on how much I’ve changed since I stepped on my university back in August.

While I could go on about how I made new friends or how my study habits changed, the aspect of myself that has changed the most was finding my own independence.

I remember walking into my dreary, prison-like room at my residence hall and wondering: how in the world am I going to make this place feel like home? As the parts of my bed collapsed with a thud when I tried to raise my bed, I remember asking myself: how am I supposed to do this by myself?

It was the first time I didn’t have my mom. It was the first time I couldn’t call a friend to help me in a time of need; for the first time, I was totally and completely alone.

While finally moving to college, I could not ignore all of the uncertainties that popped into my head: am I going to find friends? Am I meant to be here? What if people don’t like me? It was like going into middle school all over again with a cloud of doubt hovering at all times.

Time flew by, and I adjusted to college life as many do. The cloud of doubt slowly began to fade away; however, being on my own didn’t get any easier.

I went through a period in my first semester when I hesitated to reach out to my new friends when I struggled with the move; I was so afraid of scaring them off. I forced myself to sit with my own thoughts and figure out solutions to these doubts that I had.

Little did I realize then that this time I spent by myself was so very valuable. These periods of adjustment and evolution allowed me to understand myself that I never had the opportunity to do in high school.

Although I do rely on my friends and family to help me through tough times, it became easier for me to cope on my own. I now understand myself in a whole new way, and for the first time, I really felt like a true adult.

So when I got my first speeding ticket, I understood how to act and problem-solve accordingly.

When I failed my first test and became overwhelmed with the college workload, I learned how to destress and prioritize.

When I felt hurt, sad, angry or stressed at any time this year, I learned to pick myself back up and move forward.

I would eventually pick up the pieces of my broken bed and bring my room to life.

I think everyone fears being alone to some extent; and while it may seem scary to be alone with your own thoughts, it’s this exact fear that helps you mature and evolve into the person you are meant to be.

Embrace the solitude—face your fears head-on, otherwise you’ll never get to know that resilient person on the other side.