Someone once told me not to hope for something to happen too hard and to keep my expectations low. By doing so, I would save myself from getting hurt and the pain would be a lot less severe. Soon after I wrote "Hopefulness is often another term for wishful thinking; perhaps endowing this thinking into unrealistic matters or people is a form of own self torture." Do I really believe that now? Do I believe that the sense of hope is just a sad illusion? When did I lose my sense of hope -- the one thing that is the benefactor, a ripple of change and positivity in my life?

When I was really little, I hoped for so many things. I dreamt of the most amazing life for myself and I'm not sure when I let my standards fall. Granted, I may not be a princess, own a castle or be able to fly, but that doesn't mean I should settle. I can't help but think that we live in an oppressive society in which we look for practicality in all things. See when we are little, we are asked what we want to be when we grow up, while at the same time being told what we cannot be. We want to be heroes, astronauts and presidents and these things bulge out of the box of realistic. So we are then steered towards jobs of a more suitable standard. We soon begin to lose hope at a young age in the dreams we had.

Soon by the ripe age of 14, I was in a mindset that I had to chose my life in the most practical sense. I got this crazy idea that I wanted to be a nurse and have two kids and I realize now I want no part in such. Not that it isn't a big enough dream, but it just wasn't mine. I have no clue what I want to do with my life and I might in fact enter college undecided and that's okay. Life isn't supposed to be practical, or even a walk in the park. So dream big, hope more and live life to your fullest expectations and no one else's.

Hope isn't practicality, or a place or a thing, hope is being able to picture a light in all the darkness. To know that things will not always be a certain way, to jump without seeing the other side and to believe in the possibility of a world in which doesn't exist. In that regard, I refrain from previous disdain from hope and rather wish to see it as this: hopefulness is often another term for wishful thinking; a thinking which allows us to inevitability see the possibility in us that others cannot. Hope isn't of torture, but rather self recognition. A way in which we can find a light within us that others choose not to see, a way to find possibility and meaningfulness in our existence.