It’s an odd thing to say - trust me, I never would have expected to say it myself. But something happens when you join something bigger than yourself. A sorority is no different. Feminism as we know it is the belief that men and women should be equals on all playing fields. From the workplace to public spheres, to the home, there should be no gap; no glass ceiling. I had only come into the idea of feminism and being a feminist my senior year of high school. I had a narrow concept of what it all meant and how it applied not only to my life, but the world around me.
Coming from a small town with a lack of diversity, little variety, and in general not much to do, college was mind blowing. I went from a cul-de-sac to a school in a city that felt much bigger than anticipated. I had decided that I was in fact a feminist by this point, but I wasn’t doing anything about it. My first semester on campus left me feeling lost in the shuffle and a bit empty. I had imagined I would do all of these crazy and wonderful things coming to school but so far all I had done was attend the ballroom dance club. This changed when I decided to join a sorority. Talking to my parents on the phone the day that recruitment started, I decided that I would either go through or transfer. Luckily, I found my home, and purpose, in Alpha Gamma Delta. I won’t get sappy but I truly did feel that I had changed in the decision.
All at once I was immersed in a group of women who not only cared about each other but they also gave a damn about the community around them. These young women came from all different backgrounds and had experiences and dreams that made each one of them unique. Coming from a relatively vanilla background I felt my mind open up to this new experience. The diverse thoughts and opinions forced me to change my previously held worldviews.
I had always prided myself on being different from other girls. Sure, I had friends who were girls, but I had way more guy friends. Guys were less judgmental; girls were catty and shallow. Joining a sorority made me realize how wrong and cruel I had been. Where I had once been judgmental I was now trying things I would have shunned before. I was embracing a sisterhood, and yes, I was suddenly someone I would have disliked before. The women I previously believed to be shallow had seen a leader in me, they empowered me and challenged me to be better than I was. They gave me the confidence to unabashedly be myself.
How did all of this make me a better feminist? It’s a fair question and the answer is both easy and difficult to explain. On a basic level, surrounding myself with women different from myself made their experiences real to me. No longer was the injustice and inequality so far away. Each of my sisters brought something new and different to the table. In getting to know them I began to feel their pain, get angry when they got angry, and feel sorrow when they felt sorrow. Joining a sorority empowered me, and then in turn challenged me to do the same for others. This was paramount in that it forced me to pay attention to the world around me. I began to see how much good women could do and I wanted to see more of it. I wanted to not only empower my own sisters, but all women. I realized that I had been afforded a special opportunity and to do nothing with it would be a waste.
On a deeper level I began to become more invested in my community. Not being from the area had initially left a certain distance in my connection to her. But through philanthropy work and seeing the real connection that my sorority had to its surrounding left me wanting to know more, wanting to care more. I began to educate myself on the issues facing my community and then slowing educating myself on the issues facing the world. This allowed me to become more intentional about the difference I was choosing to make. I felt that I was truly doing something to give credit to the title of Feminist.
By joining a group of women hell bent on making a difference in their communities, and in their own selves, I became a part of something bigger than myself that would help me redefine what it meant to be a feminist. And yes, it isn’t perfect, but as John Steinbeck once wrote, “And now that you do not have to perfect, you can be good.”
