I have been doing a lot of self reflection lately and discovering many different things about myself. Both good and bad. I realized so many things I wish I would have realized years ago. But, one of the hardest things for me to get over was the idea of being alone. I never liked it. I always said to people that I am just a people person and I can not help it, I just could not stand spending too much time alone. I claimed it was out of boredom or simply the fear of missing out. None of those reasons were the right ones though and I have came to that realization.

The real reason I never liked being alone was because I just did not like the person I was left with, myself. I had such a fear of being alone because of what would happen whenever I was. The wheels in my head would start turning and it would be a revolving door of negativity and insecurity wracking around in my brain. This would cause me to overthink all of the situations going on in my life at that time. Thinking my friends were against me, nobody wanted to be around me or talk to me and that was why I was alone in the first place. I am the queen of hurting my own feelings and creating false scenarios in my head and that was something that took far too long to realize. But now that I have realized it, I will never forget it.

Now, I cherish my time alone. Not saying I am an expert yet (just ask my roommates), but I am definitely getting comfortable spending time on my own. It has been nice to start getting to know myself again and finding different hobbies/activities to do on my own. I have started doing calligraphy a lot more often and on the sunny days I have been taking advantage of my pool! I have done a lot of growing over the past year and this is something I am so proud of!