Here's Who Your Soulmate Is, Based On Your Enneagram Number
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Here's Who Your Soulmate Is, Based On Your Enneagram Number

The Enneagram may seem like a simple personality test, but it could help you find love.

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Here's Who Your Soulmate Is, Based On Your Enneagram Number

Before reading the rest of this article, I suggest you take the Enneagram test to see which number you are.

My freshman year of college, I got into an interesting conversation with one of my friends. She suggested I take the enneagram test to see which "number" I was. Basically, the enneagram is a historically accurate personality test that explores the unique attributes and characteristics of each person. I find it helpful because knowing someone's number really helps me to be empathetic towards them. For example, as a 4 Wing 3, I'm what's known as the "romantic," or "individualist." The "wing 3" means I'm also the "achiever." I have a tendency to romanticize or imagine everything I think about. I'm also very competitive. Knowing these things about myself helps me adopt a more objective, healthy view of God's green earth and my purpose in it.

Everyone falls into one (or a few) of these number categories, but their wings vary. Wings describe individual traits in humanity, highlighting everyone's uniqueness and providing space for variety. That being said, some numbers are (allegedly) better at getting along with each other than others. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule, but here is a cheat-sheet for the most romantic heterosexual combinations:

Type 1 Female (Perfectionist) with Type 9 Male (Peacemaker)

Think Rory and Dean from "Gilmore Girls." These two types go well together because the combination causes partners to be more introspective. The peacemakers tend to be peaceful and helpful, which usually pushes type one females to act more selflessly as well. Ones usually bring logic and rationality, while nines are gentle and accepting. These attributes calm the internal perfectionism that usually haunts type ones...especially the females. The saying "you're your own worst critic" probably came from nine's pep-talk with his high-strung girlfriend. Nines possess a rare gift of quiet encouragement, so their gentle compliments soften ones, while the ones provide logic and direction for nines.

Type 2 Female (Helper) with Type 8 Male (Challenger/Leader)


Imagine Elena Gilbert (type two) with Damon Salvatore (unhealthy type 8 wing 7) or Stefan Salvatore (healthy type 8 wing 9), from season one of "Vampire Diaries." Type twos are either very generous and helpful, or they're generally viewed as clingy and high-maintenance. Of course, this depends on their level of health, wings, moral compass, etc. Type eights are strong, unapologetic leaders (Stefan) at best, but they're domineering and critical (Damon) when they're unhealthy. Outwardly these types appear to be opposites, but both tend to be sentimental and deeply sensitive, though they try to hide it by being others-focused or domineering.

The most interesting thing about this pair is the fact that both numbers move towards each other's types when they're healthy. When they're unhealthy, twos and eights are often possessive of others in relationships. Because of that side of their nature, they can make a fiercely loyal and powerful couple. However, typically, twos are focused on connecting with others while eights are focused on maintaining control of themselves and situations. When eights are healthy, or in love, their own protective nature can act as a safety for twos. Healthy eights can bring objectivity to a relationship and this enables twos to consider their own well-being in addition to the health of others. Twos help eights think outside of themselves and the power dynamic they hold in their minds.

Type 3 Female (Achiever) with Type 1 Male (Perfectionist)

Remember the show "Wipe Out"? During one season, they had "power couples" come on and compete together. When you think of type threes and ones together, this type of couple should come to mind. These are the people who compete in CrossFit together and take hours to meal-prep each week. The pairing is somewhat unimaginable for me, since both type threes and type ones tend to be intense, competitive, and very focused on results, even if their goals are unrealistic.

Usually opposites attract, but in this case, the partners are both extremely driven and feed the other's fire with wisdom, self-discipline and a focus on success. Some blind spots in this relationship may be a lack of emotional awareness, cutting corners morally, and not owning up to one's mistakes. However, since ones have the internal desire to be good, moral, and just, a healthy one will bring wisdom to the duo while the healthy three will provide motivation and tenacity.

Type 4 Female (Romantic/Individualist) with Type 9 (Peacemaker) or Type 8 Male (Challenger)

The most successful relationships for a four are often with a type nine, depending on the wings and health of both. The fours usually bring expression of creativity and emotional honesty to the nines, who are also artistic and misunderstood. Imagine Lucas and Peyton from "One Tree Hill," though Lucas is probably a four while Peyton strikes me as a nine. Nines are also good at complimenting and reassuring fours, who typically assume that they are defective or unlovable in some way. Fours help nines to bring their suppressed feelings to light, since nines bury feelings that might cause conflict...only revealing the depths of their souls through their artwork.

The most emotionally volatile relationship described by the Enneagram Institute is a four coupled with a type eight. According to experts, this is the one relationship that's most likely to deteriorate into verbal and physical abuse.

On the flip side, healthy fours and eights tend to form the most passionate relationships. Think Tris (type four) and Four (ironically type eight) from "Divergent." Misunderstood girl meets mysterious boy. Am I watching the movie as I type this? Maybe.

Fours are emotionally dominant and eights are socially dominant. Healthy eights help fours to be less self-deprecating and they provide protection in a relationship. If both types are unhealthy their mutual love can give way to a never-ending battle, inspiring rage in both types because they resent the other's quest for control.

Type 5 Female (Thinker/Investigator) with Type 1 Male (Perfectionist)

Remember the movie, "She's All That"? Intellectual, shy, creative Lanie (type 5 wing 4) meets perfect yet surprisingly sensitive boy Zach (type 1 wing 2). They soon discover they were made for each other. All it took was some contacts, a locker room bet, and the prom.

The original conspiracy theorists, thinkers (type fives) are traditionally withdrawn and somewhat introverted. Imagine a female engineer (type five) with the CEO of a large company (type one)...which are probably the two careers Lanie and Zach eventually fell into after graduation. Of course, Lanie painted and went to weird plays on the side.

Type fives bring awareness and quiet to the lives of the driven, more social ones. The ones draw the fives out of their shell and can prove to be very encouraging and wise when they're healthy. Both are driven and intelligent, unbothered by the stupidity in society since it only increases their hunger for true wisdom, transcendence, and perfection.

Type 6 Female (Loyalist) with Type 8 (Challenger) or Type 9 Male (Peacemaker)

This is a cringey example, but "He's Just Not That Into You" comes to mind. Think faithful Gigi (type six) with the oblivious yet confrontational bartender (type 9 wing 8) whose name escapes me because I don't really like him. Type sixes are extremely faithful to their partners. That being said, they're willing to submit to a leader, like a type eight, or a more peaceful, yet potentially dominant personality like a type nine. Type eights bring sixes a sense of stability and protection, while type eights or nines reassure them with compassionate words and protection. Sixes are fiercely loyal, so they provide their significant others with stability, faithfulness, and a realistic view of the world as well.

Type 7 Female (Enthusiast) with Type 5 (Thinker) or Type 1 Male (Perfectionist)

This calls for another "One Tree Hill" example. Fun, a-little-too-loving Brooke (type seven) meets chaste "Clean Teen" Chase (type one). Inspired by her interest in Chase, Brooke joins the Clean Teen club and soon realizes Chase is serious about his convictions. Of course, it's "One Tree Hill," so hot-boy Chase doesn't stand by his convictions for long, but he still teaches Brooke about self-control. Type ones help sevens to be more aware of rules and regulations, while sevens bring more freedom to the life of a perfectionist.

The enthusiast always has the spotlight at parties, and she's always ready for the next adventure. When paired with a thinker, she helps to draw the fives out of their antisocial atmosphere. Type fives help sevens to slow down and enjoy the beauty in logic and intellectual discovery. A type seven in my family recently dated a five, and problems did arise in this pair when the five's desire for quiet, intelligent conversation frustrated the seven's chase after loud adventure, and vice versa. Because each of the aforementioned pairs are so opposite in nature, I didn't think they were possible until I saw this pattern in my own family member's life.

Type 8 Female (Challenger) with Type 9 Male (Peacemaker)

Think Leigh Anne Tuohy (Sandra Bullock) and Sean Tuohy (Tim McGraw) from "The Blind Side." In these kinds of couples, the (type eight) woman is a strong leader, so she needs someone who will provide stability and support. Like Leigh Anne, she's confident and in control. Her husband brings peaceful strength, stability, and calm, like Sean Tuohy (Tim McGraw). The nines are perfect for this, since they can often provide a more quiet leadership when the eight is on edge. At the very least, they help eights see the peaceful side of things. A problem spot in this relationship could arise when a flustered eight tries to control an already suppressed nine. However, eights can help nines with their obsessive, passive nature and the nines will help the eights to be gentler.

Type 9 Female (Peacemaker) with Type 6 Male (Loyalist)

Think Snow White and Prince Charming from TV series "Once Upon A Time." The female nines are usually prone to a more quiet, intuitive nature, which intensely attracts male sixes, who are looking for someone to help protect by being faithful and stable. Generosity also comes into play here, since the six often brings stability to the relationship by providing for his partner. Nines help sixes with their more anxious nature by gently reassuring them and being available for quality time. However, nines often struggle with a sort of depression if their family or friends are experiencing conflict, so the sixes reassure them with their faithfulness and objective support.

Of course, through Christ, health is possible for any type, and with God, all things are possible. Therefore, any couple-type is possible.

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