I won’t settle for anything mediocre. I won’t settle for anything, actually. This is extremely true for relationships, which is why I can one hundred percent say that I have never loved anyone. I feel like people my age are so quick to fall in love but after the honeymoon stage of their relationship is over so is their relationship. The person they thought was the “love of their life” is now nothing more than a few subtweets on Twitter and a couple of months wasted. I don’t want that for myself. If I’m going to love someone and I mean really love someone—what is love nowadays anyway—then I want to do it right and I want it to mean something. They say when you know, you just know and I firmly believe in this idea. I believe that when that person comes around I will know, without a doubt, that they are my person. The only thing I know right now is that I haven’t had that feeling. That’s okay. My soul mate out there somewhere; it’s just not our time yet. Yes, I’m a bit of a hopeless romantic but the point is still there.

I feel like part of the problem is that young adults are trying to find someone to fill an empty space in their lives. They aren’t quite sure who they are so they try to find someone else to help them figure it out. This will never work. You have to be fully comfortable with who you are first. You have to make your goals your priority because whoever does come along should purely be a companion in your life journey, not a roadblock. Before you focus on someone else you have to focus on yourself. Who are you? What do you want? Are you happy with yourself? You cannot expect someone else to love you fully for who you are if you don’t even know who that is. This is the time to take risks and be bold. Go out of your comfort zone. You are flourishing. You have the rest of your life to spend with someone else, so take this time for you. Don’t go searching for love, let it come to you. It will show up when you least expect it, but that’s what makes it so wonderful. You can’t plan it, it just happens.

Don’t let your desire for attention get in the way of the goals you set for yourself. It is so easy to get caught up in the moment: the amazing rush of emotions and butterflies. It can make you forget about all of the things you have been working for. Don’t be foolish with your aspirations, this is the real world; there are no do-overs. Respect yourself, your body, your mind, and your secrets; cherish them. Love yourself enough so that when your soul mate comes along you don’t need them to love you. It’s just an added bonus. You should never have to give pieces of yourself up for anyone. Do the things you like to do and don’t feel bad about the things you are passionate about. If you are truly meant to be with someone, they will support your passions and encourage you to go out and accomplish everything you have planned. Don’t rush things, my fellow single, young adults. Take time for you. Find out who you really are and let the rest work itself out. Love is out there, it’s just not our time to find it yet.