If you were to ask me where I see myself In 10 years, I'd probably give the cliché "married and happy with children" answer. Don't Get me wrong, that is where I want to be in 10 years and I can not wait for the day to have that, but I'm not rushing it. As it stands right now, I am a mess and it doesn't seem to be getting better.
I can't even tell you the day of the week most of the time, let alone can I tell you what I plan to be doing in 10 years.
I wish I had a definitive answer that allows me to be clear cut and confident with the way my life is going. I feel like the batter in a baseball game and the pitcher is only throwing curve balls at me (AKA: the pitcher is that thing we like to call life). I feel overwhelmed and blessed all at the same time, I have one million things going on in my life and please do not think I'm ungrateful, but I am honestly tired. I am worn out, and sometimes I wish that time would slow down just a bit so I can enjoy every moment.
Is there a guide book to college? to being in a sorority? To having a job? and let alone is there a guide book to love?
I'm guessing that the answer is no, and I should listen to my heart, follow my heart. That approach is getting old due to the fact that my heart says to relax and take a break but my time commitments say otherwise. This is supposed to be the most exciting time and the time I find out who I am, and it seems I can only say that I am definitely not the "multi-tasker." I can handle a lot of things thrown at me, but I'm still grasping how to handle it when it is thrown at me all at ONCE.
Although, most of this article has been my rant on how much I'm struggling in college, I can say for sure, that my growing relationship with Christ has pulled me through and continues to do so. I've always been a Christian, and I've always loved Jesus, but it wasn't until recently that I realized just what his love can do for me, and for my heart. It wasn't until I was on my hands and knees asking for the strength from Jesus, just to get me through the next few days until I could go home to my mama. It wasn't until I started to feel lonely and unlovable that god truly showed me that finding myself meant loving him deeply and fully. I cant begin to explain the difference that it made in my life, and I'm happy to say that I AM A MESS...but Jesus is helping me clean it up. I don't have a plan, but he has one for me and I am happy to live for him.
