As a 24-year-old female living in a world where every time she opens up Facebook someone she knows has gotten engaged or just celebrated an anniversary, you often question when your time for love and happiness will come--especially when you've been dealt a series of unfortunate relationships. My friend and I have often speculated the reasons why we're still single because even though we're not the best thing since sliced bread, we're pretty dang close (or at least, we'd like to think so). We've speculated whether it's because we are too intimidating to guys (cue the infamous RBF statements) or whether we're just more of the friend but never really the girlfriend.
And as often as I think about what I want my future husband to be like, I think about what characteristics my future husband will want his future wife to have and whether or not I display any of those characteristics. It occurred to me that in a world that is plagued by instant gratification (i.e. Tinder) or DMs, we've forgotten what a real relationship looks like with a real person and, even worse, we've lost sight of what kind of person we should really be pursuing.
I'm not going to say that all of these qualities I am going to list are absolutely necessary for every person or every relationship because everyone is different. However, I think you'll find that these qualities aren't your typical "I need a man who's 6'0 and bearded" or "I want a woman with all the right curves." These qualities are so much more than surface deep -- they will connect with your heart. And after all, we want a love that will remain beautiful no matter how much time has passed or how many wrinkles have developed on our face, right?
1. Laugh a lot & your wrinkles will be in all the right places.
To me, there is nothing better than a good laugh. Often times, laughing indicates a shared moment of connection between two people. Marriage, I'm sure, is a scary thing that comes with more struggles and anxieties than have ever been experienced before. However, if your partner can make you laugh, then I truly believe that you two can get through anything. Not everything is going to be sunshine and rainbows, but sometimes, it's important to remember that you only live once and you might as well laugh and tell as many jokes as you can, even if they are corny.
2. The love of a family makes life beautiful.
A love for family means having a love that is deeper than just the two of you and to me, that's a pretty special thing! Look for that mama's boy or daddy's girl because, trust me, they know what it means to have a special connection with another man or woman and they will spend their lives trying to make you feel just as loved!
3. Be good to others and love them well.
When you're thinking about the person you're going to marry one day, I truly hope that you desire for them to have a deep and genuine love for other people despite knowing them or their situation at all. I hope that your husband or wife has a desire to make others feel loved even when he or she doesn't feel very loved themselves. I pray that you want someone who would give the shirt off their back for someone who needs it far more. I hope that your husband or wife will have a genuine excitement for serving others and will want to be a dynamic servant leader. Because trust me, if he or she can love strangers with his or her whole heart, imagine how much he or she will love you!
4. Grow through what you go through.
If you want a relationship that is going to last, you have to be with someone who is able to grow with you and alongside you. A relationship is equal parts growth and struggle. The more you struggle together, the more you grow together. In order to grow together, you must love each other even when things get tough. You must love each other even when it seems you can't love anymore. And sometimes you may even have to climb a few mountains but trust me, the view from the top is amazing.
5. Grow together and grow in Grace.
I wholeheartedly believe that there is no greater love than the love of Christ my Father. However, I will strive everyday to find a man who works towards loving me the way God does -- never judging, always loving. Desire the man or woman who will push you to be the best you that you can be. But, also desire someone who is going to want you to grow in the grace of God. God's word reads: "Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast. It is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrong doing's. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth. It always protects, always trusts, always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 15:4. Strive to love your partner how God loves you.
6. Above all, be with someone who sees you for who you are on the inside.
One day, many years from now, you will have grey hair on your head and wrinkles on your face but the person you're meant to be with, the person who sees you, will only see how perfect you are because he or she will know that those wrinkles came from laughing together and your grey hair will be an indication of all of the good and bad times you two faced together. Love is so much more than surface-deep; I hope you find the one your heart yearns for.
