I often contemplate my past. Especially the nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach that I made the wrong decision responsible for my present. I try to remind myself that no matter what path I’m on, there are bound to be obstacles in my way. Yet, I discern the difference between life difficulties and taking bad advice.

It seems the older I get the harder the decisions I have to make become. I don’t mean the fact that I need to make bigger and more mature decisions. It’s because I find people whispering in my ears about what I should do. Family, friends, and even strangers. Society has set an ideal path for people. College for a degree. A suitable career to be financially stable. The right person to have a family with. Balance all these expectations and don’t cry about it.

Well, fine. It might be a path to choose, but it’s not the only one. I continually find myself doubting everything in my life. I know it’s because I am not happy from time to time where I find myself. I should be, and I should be grateful. Yet, I can’t help wonder what else there is. The world is filled with opportunities and perhaps the reason I doubt myself so often is because I am limited with opportunities by trying to satisfy and fulfil expectations society has for me.

It makes me feel small when I am given choices and I am told by many what to do, and I feel like those who tell me what to do are right. But what is right for them is not necessarily what is right for me. And I feel guilty too that what is deemed the “right” choice is what makes me feel so wrong. I am not myself when I allow others influence to overpower my true desires.

I promise I will never let other people be the reason I doubt myself. I will not be belittled by the realistic world. I choose to look beyond it because there is a world beyond the “real” one society has sculpted.

So do you feel hopeless, sad, unmotivated and wonder what more you could do to reach some level of content? Be yourself first of all, but most importantly decide for yourself. A parent or close friend may have some great advice and want what’s best for you, but the more you get lost in other people’s opinions of the do’s and don’ts of the world that are really just manifested concepts, the more you lose yourself.

Once I was confident, bold and deserving of what I set my sights on. Now, I second guess myself, asking “what’s wrong with me?” It has me wondering, what makes you feel truly you? When do you feel most daring or confident? People are overbearing with their opinions on how to act, and I’ve felt forced to close the doors on my dreams because I trusted other people over myself.

Then, I realized how lost and confused I have been. I’m unsettled with the desperation to uncover inspiration to give to the world all I know I have to offer. And it’s because I feel like I haven’t been thinking for myself. I haven’t been taking risks. I haven’t been proving to myself because I am trying to prove to the world.

I don’t know what I could do for myself, but whatever is next for me, it’ll be my sole passionate decision. Life has a way of surprising those who live it. So trust yourself and you will find yourself.