I'm finally Over You and it feels so good

I'm finally Over You and it feels so good

I thought that you would be in my life forever, but now that I know you're actually gone, I can finally move on.

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I never thought that I would see the day that I would get over you, but here it is. I saw you with her and you looked happy, the type of happy that I always wanted you to be even if it wasn't going to be with me. Today was the day that I finally stopped.

I stopped searching your name on Twitter to see what you were posting. I stopped looking through girls' likes to search for your name. I stopped looking for your name when I check who watched my Snapchat stories. I stopped wishing you would finally call or text me to start things over again. I stopped wondering what you were doing all day, every day. I stopped worrying if you were doing okay or simply how your day was. I stopped waiting for you to realize what you lost. I thought it all would never stop, until everything that had to do with you finally did, and that did it: finally all stopped. I felt whole again, even without you. I am finally happy without you.

You were one of those people that I thought I would need forever, I searched for you in every person I talked to and dated, but truly, there was only you. I realized that I would never find you again unless you came back into my life, which I knew would never happen. The truth is, I'm not good at letting go and moving on, you were my knight in shining armor, my best friend. I wanted you to be there forever, but obviously there were other plans for me and I am so glad.

I thought that when you started talking to me again that next summer we could start over and become something better, but you had other plans. Your kind words and kind actions made me feel like we were back to our old selves. Looking back on that now, you didn't have any future plans with me, and we had nothing together. I remember being so hurt, sad, angry and every single emotion you could possibly feel. I thought I accepted that you were gone a long time ago, but today I actually did.

I'm going to stop looking for you in every person I talk to. I'm going to put myself out there again like I've never been hurt before. You made me hold myself back because I was waiting to give you that type of attention, not someone else. It isn't fair to the people I have hurt, just because of you. I first needed to stop being so angry at you, angry for the way you treated me, angry for how things ended, and angry that I never got closure. But, most people don't get closure and I needed to realize that things won't always go my way. I had to stop being angry at myself, I didn't do anything and at that point. I thought I ruined everything and that I did this to us; it was actually you that did this to us.

You have no control over my life anymore.

I am finally doing things for myself.

I am finally over you and actually moving on.

Cover Image Credit:

Victoria Senese

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5 Perks Of Having A Long-Distance Best Friend

The best kind of long-distance relationship.
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Sometimes, people get annoyed when girls refer to multiple people as their "best friend," but they don't understand. We have different types of best friends. There's the going out together best friend, the see each other everyday best friend and the constant, low maintenance best friend.

While I'm lucky enough to have two out of the three at the same school as me, my "low maintenance" best friend goes to college six hours from Baton Rouge.

This type of friend is special because no matter how long you go without talking or seeing each other, you're always insanely close. Even though I miss her daily, having a long-distance best friend has its perks. Here are just a few of them...

1. Getting to see each other is a special event.

Sometimes when you see someone all the time, you take that person and their friendship for granted. When you don't get to see one of your favorite people very often, the times when you're together are truly appreciated.

2. You always have someone to give unbiased advice.

This person knows you best, but they probably don't know the people you're telling them about, so they can give you better advice than anyone else.

3. You always have someone to text and FaceTime.

While there may be hundreds of miles between you, they're also just a phone call away. You know they'll always be there for you even when they can't physically be there.

4. You can plan fun trips to visit each other.

When you can visit each other, you get to meet the people you've heard so much about and experience all the places they love. You get to have your own college experience and, sometimes, theirs, too.

5. You know they will always be a part of your life.

If you can survive going to school in different states, you've both proven that your friendship will last forever. You both care enough to make time for the other in the midst of exams, social events, and homework.

The long-distance best friend is a forever friend. While I wish I could see mine more, I wouldn't trade her for anything.

Cover Image Credit: Just For Laughs-Chicago

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Shockingly, There Is Strength In Being Weak

Abandon the idea that you do not deserve to be taken care of. You do!

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The one challenge in having a brave face, is others never considering there are moments you may not be. It is a beautiful yet complicated gift to be able to provide comfort to others. To be the person your friends and family turns to in times of crisis. Just remember that those who offer help, may need help sometimes too.

Lately, I have been struggling. Having flares of anxiety and repetition of old behaviors, that I am not so proud of. I am so kind to others facing struggle, but I have yet to understand the importance of offering myself the same respect.

Some may suggest therapy, seeking out health professionals. For many that may work. And if that is a tool that works for you, power to you! If you feel comfortable with the process pursue it! For myself, I am not. And I will tell you why.

I have yet to swallow my pride. To understand that the strong fail too. Oh how I despise failing. And I think fear of failure comes from my own personal expectations, to hold it "together". Because if I fall, who will those closest to me lean on? I have strength, therefore if I fall, we all do.

That may sound like an idiotic sentence, and while forming the words I recognize how false a statement it is. However, this is a deep rooted issue for many individuals. And for me this is something I struggle with. Allowing for the world to see my weakness.

One of my best friends, who has recently opened my eyes said to me, " To have the courage to ask for help is not you showing weakness, but strength." It takes a great deal of strength to open up. I find myself suppressing my emotions. Meanwhile, I write weekly about confronting your past. Yet I struggle in the practice I preach.

That is not weakness, yet it is a glimpse of reality. I am thankful for my friend, who noticed a shift within me, to speak up and make sure that I recognize that I am falling. Sometimes you cannot only rely on yourself, and you need to admit that you need help.

My greatest joy is helping others but again I cannot find the generosity in my heart to offer it to myself. I was wrestling with the "why". Why I cannot allow for others to worry about me, why I simply do not want other people to worry about me. It is because that is my job. Then I realized, being a brave individual goes hand in hand with wanting control.

I struggle with allowing for myself to be a mess. To admit when I have lost control of who I am. The issue with a brave face? You rarely let others see you cave. So those around you assume you are stedfast, strong, in control, without a shadow of a doubt ; okay.

I understand not each individual is intuitive. That people miss the signs of when others emotional well beings are compromised. I am grateful for my best friend and her intuitive mind and heart. Recognizing that I have not been completely myself as of late, just an extension.

For those of you , who feel you lack the skill. Those who are not capable of reading between the lines, noticing lack of bravery, please I advise you to check up on the ones who you are usually so sure that are "okay". A simple, "how are you", goes a very long way.

I know I was hoping all day that someone would recognize I was not so myself and ask the question. Thankfully, my best friend did. It is nice to know someone sees you. To understand that you're human, and to remind you that you're human. The brave are allowed to fall.

I note that this also means, the brave need to allow for transparency. Because when you allow for others to see your struggle, it is easier for them to then offer a helping hand. Break your silence, even if it proves that you are not always brave.

Each individual has strengths and weaknesses. My weakness? Being weak. Allowing for myself to strip off the mask of " I am okay", and revealing the " I am not okay".

Again, to be brave is in fact a complicated gift. Being emotionally strong for others, does not mean you do not deserve to also be taken care of. To be offered the same respect of healing and love. Leave behind the idea that those managing others issues, means they can manage their own. Even the bravest of walls can come falling down.

It does not take long to ask a three worded question; " How are you?" I hope those are brave enough to answer honestly.

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