I am about to be a sophomore in college, and I have been in one real relationship in my entire life. This is not something many people can say. Most people go through lots of significant others throughout high school.

I mean, my 13-year-old sister has had more boyfriends than I have had. In fact, before I had my first boyfriend junior year, my mom went through a phase of asking me if I even liked boys. I was then in a long term, long distance relationship all through my junior and senior years of high school. It was a great relationship, and we had a lot of fun together, but when I started school in August, a lot about our relationship changed. We lived even farther apart, we had completely different schedules, we were making new friends, but we had a strong enough relationship that we could have made it through many more years if these things were the only changes. However, there was one thing that changed so drastically that there was no possible way to save our relationship: me. There's really no way to explain it. I just wasn't the same person I was two years prior. I knew the relationship had run its course, but I was scared to move on without this huge part of my life. I felt as if, by losing him, I was losing a part of myself. Little did I know, I was actually gaining something even more valuable: me.

Just like my relationship, many high school relationships end right along with high school, but too often the people in these relationships don't realize, or don't want to accept, that they are over. Just like me, people are scared to let go of their past because they are not sure what the future holds, but ending a relationship at the right time can be extremely beneficial in the long run. Many people are afraid to be single again. I know I was. It can feel like there is a giant void in your life, but trust me, the void is only there for a short time before it gets filled with something wonderful. The void gets filled with confidence, independence, personality, friendship, and all together happiness. While relationships can be wonderful, there are so many benefits to spending time single.

First, there are the simple things we get to appreciate about being single such as getting the entire bed to yourself, not having to share your food and saving money around Valentine's Day, Christmas and birthdays. There is no one you have to check in with or worry about whether or not you responded to a text message. These are just the little benefits of being single that most people don’t mind either way. There are lots of even bigger benefits that make spending time single well worth it.

As single people, we have the freedom to flirt with whomever we want. This may seem minor, but it is nice to not have to worry about making sure that other people know you are in a relationship. When a cute boy smiles at you from across the room, you don't have to be afraid to smile back. Flirting is often harmless and can boost our self confidence, but when you are in committed relationship you feel guilty when other people hit on you.

Single people have more free time. We don't have to worry about syncing calendars with anyone, trying to plan date nights or attending other people's family events. We are in charge of our own schedule, and have time to fill with things that help us find who we are.

Being single allows us to make more friends. When we are not tied down to a significant other, we have more time to spend with friends. We can strengthen these relationships, and not have to feel guilty when we want alone time because we are not tied down to our friends like we are to significant others.

Single people get to know themselves. When we are in a relationship, we become different people. The change may not be drastic, especially at first, but the longer the relationship runs, the more we change. These changes are not usually bad, but when we become more and more like our significant other we run the risk of losing ourselves. People begin to know you as a him and her item, where you are automatically synced together in their mind. When we are single, we have time to find who we are as individuals. We have more freedom, are more likely to try new things, and get comfortable being unapologetically ourselves.

We hear it all the time, but the seemingly cliched statement really is true: In order to love someone else, you must first learn to love yourself. I don’t want to give off the impression that I don’t think relationships are great. They have an entire other list of benefits, and for some, finding the right person is easy. For many though, it takes a little more work, and the work usually involves you. I am so glad that I was with one person for so much of high school, but I am also very glad that I have had time to work on me. I am much more confident, independent and excited about life than I have ever been, and I cannot wait until I get to share my new self with Mr. Right. For now, I’ll keep smiling at the boy from across the room, taking up the entire bed and eating my Nutella and peanut butter all by myself. Spending my freshman year “single and ready to mingle” was a great success, and I hope anyone who’s scared of the void takes the chance to fill it with great things.