Writing about harassment is a lot harder than most people would give credit to. It's a subject people avoid, one that makes people uncomfortable. Whenever the word 'harassment' is mentioned, many people let out the collective sigh--preparing for yet another feminist rant on how all men are awful or some tragic sob-story. Their eyes roll, they put their chin in their hands, eyes half lidded as they listen with a half-rocked interest, waiting to get to a more entertaining topic comes rolling along the way.
Harassment isn't a woman getting riled up about what someone did to her, and it certainly isn't some feminist just ranting about how awful men are. That's not what feminism is, anyway--but, that topic is for a different article. Harassment isn't a sob-story either, some collective string of elaborate words made up to draw in attention or get someone misty-eyed. It never has been, and never will be. The fact is, many men and women are harassed daily, and are often shamed for telling their stories. They are called 'attention whores' for speaking out about something awful that happened to them. We have this awful mindset towards harassment that has been constructed over years of discomfort and pleasing the public. If you want to talk about something pressing, or something that might make someone feel unpleasant, don't talk about it. Keep your mouth shut. If you ignore it, it'll go away.
So many people are told that ignoring harassment will make it magically disappear. If you ignore the slander, the glances, the cat-calls, the inappropriate comments, and everything in between--one day, it'll just go away. But, that's not how that works--that's not how anything works. You can't just ignore your way out of life's real issues.
Instead of telling people to ignore harassment, we need to cultivate a culture where people can openly talk about these issues--their worries, everything that has happened to them, everything they fear. Victims don't speak to make you uncomfortable, they speak to you to be heard. They speak to you because they need help--and the idea that people would turn others away because of these fears, because of seeking help, is sickening.
Harassment is real. It's in every spectrum of humanity--schools, campuses, streets, hallways, workplaces--and no one is stopping it. If anything, society today just looks over it. Our nation looks at victims of harassment and tells us to 'get over it'.
Harassment is a slap on the ass. It's uncalled for, inappropriate remarks. It's being followed around in Wal-Mart by a group of people. It's being called a slut because you don't have sex with someone. It's being called a whore because you're wearing a short skirt with a pair of heels. It's being targeted and pressured and hurt and scared to death, afraid to speak.
I know of far too many cases this year alone, in my own hometown, where harassment has always played too powerful a role. My friends, my sister, even me--because something as strong as this does not discriminate. Male, female, young, old, black, white--harassment isn't something we can push under the proverbial rug any longer.
If someone speaks about their story, listen. Support them--it takes a lot of strength and bravery to even come out about that sort of thing. Be present and comfort them. Offer help--counseling or even calling the police. Every small thing works. Just even a little help makes a difference. Just listening to someone's story can comfort them, give them security. Be aware of what harassment is, and don't just sit back and ignore it. Call it out, make a ruckus, don't just stay silent.
Harassment isn't a 'growing epidemic'. It's been a part of our culture for years, people have just finally started speaking up about it. In order to further our nation, we must destroy the concept of harassment.
Staying silent is no longer an option. Speak up. Stand up. Together, we can work to stop harassment and the culture of it that this nation has developed.
