Before the torches get lit and held by women everywhere ready to come at me with full force, hear me out. You might finally realize what you have been too blind to see all along. There is a great chance that you have been misinformed through all these articles that have been produced. By "these articles" I'm referring to the ones telling you why it's okay to be a woman and not a feminist. The two are in no way synonymous. You can very well be the female gender and choose not to believe in feminism, but maybe you actually always have believed all along.
If you are not a feminist, I will not yell at you, I won't lecture you about how disgraceful you are to the world, yada yada. What I will do though, is inquire why certain women claim to put disbelief in the feminism movement, but state certain things they feel that indeed lead to feminism. I'm completely content with those who disagree with feminism and I'll respect their opinions, but what I can't agree with is those being misinformed about what being a feminist really is all about. I won't settle for actual feminists that don't even know they are and preaching against it.
You can take it from me, considering I like to think of myself as a good comparison. I didn't always think I was a feminist either, but I got educated. I was misinformed on the actual definition, which I want to clear up now. According to multiple sources, but this one coming from Merriam-Webster, the definition of feminism is: "the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men." Re-read that as many times as you feel necessary, although I'll try to give you a much more comprehensible explanation for you since some still will not understand the true meaning of the word after reading.
For some reason, when a person thinks of a feminist, they automatically direct their attention to females with atrocious haircuts that burn their undergarments, hating men, and God knows what other stereotyping is out there. Not all feminists refuse to shave their armpits, believe in the same things, or refuse to have kids. Wake up people, feminism is so much more than what society believes. Feminism does not correlate with being a lesbian and no, contrary to some wicked beliefs out there, feminism is something both men and women believe in. Odds are that you most likely believe in it too.
Another point that self-claiming anti-feminists believe is that you can't be a stay at home mom if you are a feminist. I honestly have no earthly idea where that one came from, but it baffles me. Among several of the text I have read from these females claiming to be anti-feminist, their reasoning for that belief was due to the fact they think being a feminist means something completely false. You can indeed still be an old fashioned, stay-at home-mom OR dad, as well as domestic being while practicing feminism. You can let a man pay for your meals or even support you financially and yep, you guessed it, still be a feminist. Still think you aren't a feminist? Apparently those who are true feminists refuse to wear make up, but meanwhile I just spent half my paycheck at Sephora. Feminists tend to be single for life right? Then why have I been in a long term relationship with a man for almost two years? Is it crazy that I'm a feminist and will let a man take my last name? Nope, not really. To further explain what I mean by these people who think they don't need feminism, but are contradicting themselves is an image below:
The problem I have with the image above is simple. She is stating she has a problem with feminism yet contradicts herself by stating the actual definition of feminism she agrees with, although I applaud her for actually knowing the definition. She's right. Feminism is about equality opportunity for women as men have. She then goes on to say that she does not need women going around acting shameless for having sex with different men? I won't go into great detail about the fact that she is putting several undeserving women in one category unfairly by slut shaming them, but I don't get how she is for equality and respect then says something like that. So men are allowed to sleep around and get praised for it, but when a woman does it, she is a shameless slut? Another issue I have with this picture is that she is creating an imaginary definition next to the actual definition of feminism for herself. The first sentence of her sign is stating the stereotype of feminism, not what is actually is. This is the biggest communication barrier we have with women who are actually feminists and think they aren't. She is simply saying being a feminist means you want all the men in the world to be gone, which is firstly, ridiculous, and secondly, false. Girl, you know the definition now--so apply it. We want to be looked at in the world as just as valuable as a man.
Feminists are no better than men or want to believe so. I'm all for girl power here, but this simply isn't the case for a lot of feminists. We don't want rights that overpower men, we want the SAME ones. Now that the myths have been busted, the choice is yours.
If you are content with not having the same rights as
men, then I won't badger you to believe you deserve otherwise. The main thing people
need to understand is that there are all kinds of feminists, so claiming you
aren't one based off of one stereotype doesn't cut it. Gay, straight, black,
white, purple, Indian, transgender, tall, short, or even male: you can be a
feminist. Some out there may seem extreme and hold true to these stereotypes,
but they may also have the wrong idea of feminism just like you. Feminism is a spectrum, not just one thing. The choice is yours when it comes to what you believe in, but make sure you know exactly what you believe in before you go misinforming others.
