We have all heard the stereotypes about the "f-word": Feminism is a movement comprised of angry, hairy, humorless, man-hating, bra-burning women who despise the idea of traditional families, and all those who do not publicly denounce the patriarchy are subject to their wrath!
With these as the pervading generalizations associated with feminism, naturally any person mildly concerned with their image wants to avoid being dubbed a feminist. This is incredibly understandable; who does not want to be well-liked and accepted? Even as someone who unapologetically embraces feminism, I waver when confronted with its negative stigma. In situations that I feel insecure labeling myself a feminist, I find it important to remind myself that despite how the feminist movement has been twisted into something taboo, these stereotypes are not representative of what feminism actually is.
Specifically, I remind myself these five things:
1. Feminists are not female-supremacists.
Some feminists like boys and others do not like boys. However, this preference is based on a person’s sexuality, not an overarching feminist belief that women are better than men. Feminism is not about elevating one gender or sex above the other; rather, it is addressing an inequality between the two and working to eliminate it.
2. Feminists understand that men have issues too.
One argument I have heard many times against the feminist movement is that it does not acknowledge the fact that men also have problems. Not being a masculine enough "man" has a whole host of societal implications and consequences, just as not being a feminine enough "woman" does for women. For example, both men and women are victims of sexual assault and domestic violence. These, however, are far more systematic issues for women, as we are socialized to be passive and submissive to men, to not overpower a situation with our personality or demeanor, to rely on a man as source of protection and financial support. Men are not socialized in this way, and it is because of this that the feminist movement is centered on women’s rights. A movement centered on solving world hunger cannot simultaneously tackle saving the environment. The feminist movement, like any movement, must have focus.
3. It is OK to be a “bad” feminist.
If you identify as a woman and your favorite color is pink, that is OK! If you like to cook, to clean, to wear lipstick, bras, high heels or dresses, that is also OK. If you are in a sorority, or on the cheer team, or a girl scout, or stay-at-home mother, you can still call yourself feminist. Just because these things are regarded as feminine does not mean that you are ineligible to advocate for women’s rights. There is no such thing as the "perfect" feminist, because people are imperfect. In the words of author Roxane Gay, “I would rather be a bad feminist than no feminist at all.”
4. Feminism is about more than equality.
Equal pay for men and women should already be a given. It is concrete, numerical issue, so it is sufficient to tackle the wage gap with the mentality of achieving equality. The thing is, women and men have different needs. We need to fight for more than women having just the same opportunities as men because men generally do not deal with taking maternity leave or paying for tampons or worrying about access to birth control. Saying that feminism is about achieving equality between men and women limits the extent of change that needs to occur. So, next time someone contends that feminism is not about equality, tell them that, yes, they are correct, but not in the sense that they think.
5. Anyone can be a feminist!
The feminist movement is evolving past being exclusive to only white, upper-middle class women. It is critical to take into account that women can be discriminated against for other aspects of their identity besides gender. Race, class, sexuality, and ability also contribute to how women experience sexism. They overlap in ways that are necessary to confront in order to effectively change how women are regarded in society.
Men are welcome allies in the feminist movement. Gender is not a criteria for being a feminist. Being a feminist is simply a matter of believing that women should be regarded as peers, not as lesser.
*Note: I realize this article does not use gender neutral vocabulary. "Woman" and "man" are binary terms that, in this case, were easier to use given the topic.
