My first exposure to feminism was in Freshman U.S. History class, when I learned about the second wave feminists of the 1960's and 1970's, and their push for reproductive rights, the Equal Rights Amendment, and more equality in the workforce. Prior to that, I'd heard the word "feminism," but didn't really know what it meant.

That class was where I first learned what it meant to be a feminist: to believe in equal rights between men and women (which I thought were the only two genders at the time), and to support and/or advocate for those rights. Upon learning this, I thought, "Well, I believe that men and women should have equal rights, so that makes me a feminist."

However, I began to notice that the people who were identifying themselves as feminists were overwhelmingly women, maybe all women. It made sense, since feminism has always tended to focus on sexism and women's liberation, but it made me wonder, is it okay for a man to call himself a feminist?

As feminism has evolved in the 21st century, I eventually found my answer. In her iconic speech before the United Nations, actress Emma Watson lamented the exclusion of men from feminist spaces, and called for men to be part of the conversation. In addition, male celebrities such as Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Matt McGorry, Terry Crews, and Aziz Ansari openly identified as feminists, and their declarations were positively received. As my own political views evolved and became more liberal, I eventually became comfortable identifying as a feminist.

But I notice that much confusion and controversy still exists surrounding the word. In street interviews floating around social media, when asked whether they consider themselves feminists, many men will say, "No, because I'm not a woman." And even if men do know what the word "feminism" means, they might still reject being called feminists for a litany of reasons, a common one being that they feel that feminism excludes men, and doesn't focus enough on men's issues.

What I find interesting about that last contention is that, in my experience, I've found that feminists are the people truly addressing men's issues. Part of the reason for this is that many problems that are specific to men are directly related to the patriarchy that reinforces misogyny and disadvantages women. For example, one might notice that it is easier for a girl to enjoy clothes and activities that are considered stereotypically masculine than it is for a boy to enjoy attributes that are considered stereotypically feminine. That could be considered a way that women are privileged over men, because society gives them more freedom in that regard.

However, when looking at the bigger picture, the reason for that double standard is that stereotypically male qualities are considered mainstream, whereas stereotypically female qualities are often designated as a sub-category and label "women's." I see that as a way of devaluing women, and the boys who want to enjoy things considered feminine are viewed as "sissies" and "not real men."

Another example is that our society values strength and resilience, often to an unhealthy degree, and often devalues vulnerability. Since women are widely viewed as the more vulnerable of the two genders in the gender binary, this has historically been a key way of discriminating against them and reinforcing the patriarchy. Men are expected to be physically strong and suppress all emotions other than anger, so it is considered socially unacceptable for men to cry or otherwise show emotional vulnerability. This reinforces harmful notions of toxic masculinity, and leads men to have trouble processing and dealing with their emotions, because they feel that they have to suppress them. One of the more insidious ways that this manifests itself is that it results in male rape victims being discredited and ignored, because men are expected to be able to fight back and not let anyone take advantage of them.

I have always been fairly in touch with my feminine side as a man, so when I saw feminists address these issues, I resonated with them, and found a personal appeal to feminism.

At the same time, as male feminists, we need to mind our place. We need to be sure that we are addressing the disparities women face, listening to them, and not discrediting their experiences. When we see sexism, we need to call it out.

We also need to be cognizant of the fact that, despite these struggles we face, our maleness still grants us privilege in society. And no, that does not mean men are never poor, that men never face hardship, or that all men have everything handed to them. It simply means that there is hardship, oppression, and discrimination that we don't face because we are men.

In the United States, women on average are paid approximately 79 cents for every dollar a man makes, and the disparity is even greater for minority women. Women are notoriously underrepresented in the U.S. government, comprising of 19.4 percent of the 535-member U.S. Congress. Moreover, as men, we are not as likely to be valued solely for our physical appearance as women, and we can more easily get away with not living up to societal body standards than women. I could go on and give numerous more examples of how women, as a whole, face double standards, underrepresentation, and discrimination because they are women.

Feminists are often accused of being "intolerant," but I've found them to be the most accepting people I know. They believe that everyone should be allowed to be themselves, so I know that I can be myself around them. So, while I am perfectly comfortable identifying myself as a feminist--that not-so-scary word--I owe it not only to women, but to other marginalized groups in society (people of color, disabled, mentally ill, LGBTQ+), to advocate for a society in which they can be themselves, and empower them to live out their full potential and live fulfilling lives. If that's what it means to be a feminist, then I am a feminist.