You’ve seen it before: elementary girls who don’t have anyone to hang out with at recess. Girls who are talked about behind their backs. Girls that hear rumors about themselves that aren’t true. Quiet girls that get run over by other girls who think they know better. There’s a lot of talk about what may be thought of as “your everyday bullying.” Maybe your elementary school counselor defined bullying as kicking someone in the shins or calling someone a bitch. Is that really what happens? Sure it does. But is that the reality of bullying for a lot of girls? No.
I’ve been through it, girls in my family have been through it, and some of my very best friends have been through it. Here’s what I’m talking about: I’m talking about unjust exclusion, manipulative friendships and judgement.
Remember that one time when eight year-old you was playing on the playground, and all the other girls that were your on-again-off-again friends were talking about the sleepover they had purposely in front of you? What about the times that you studied hard and got A’s on your tests but all the girls hated you for it?
Sometimes you want to break down and cry, but you can’t cry because you hear those voices on your shoulder saying, "Buckle up your boot straps, honey, and show 'em what you're made of?” Maybe you're thinking: what am I made of? Maybe the better thing to do is turn around to those girls that put you down and say, “Why don’t you buckle up your boot straps, honey, and show the whole damn world what you’re really made of?"—this includes your boyfriend, teachers, parents, boss and everyone who you manipulate into thinking you’re oh so precious and perfect.
So, girl, stand up for yourself. Stand by what you believe in, no matter how that other girl tries to put you down. Some days it rains. Some days it's sunny. Some days you wake up to thunder. Sometimes you'll cry on someone’s shoulder. Maybe you won't talk to anyone. Some days you'll find yourself feeling alone. But, don't change. Who you are is more important than who other people want you to be.
If you're a self-declared feminist, even if you're not, take a second to think about how you treat other women and girls. If your honest answer is something other than "with the utmost respect and sympathy," then I can assure you that you're not looking for a change in the equality dynamics between men and women in our greater society.
Buckle up your boot straps, own up to it and fix your mistakes. Apologize for the things that you need to apologize for and start saying hi to the girl in the hallway who looks like she needs a little bit of warmth in her day. If women can't treat women kindly and with respect, then how can we expect to set an example for the greater good?
