Humboldt State was my number-one college choice for the longest time. When I got an offer to play soccer there, it seemed to seal the deal for me. I was searching for a college outside of California because I had been raised in a small town located an hour north of Los Angeles and was determined to get out of the dirty, busy, hectic city life that surrounded me as I grew up. Humboldt was the perfect option for me because it was different enough from Southern California that I would get that out-of-state feel, but it was still located in California, making it a cheaper schooling option.
Moving into the dorms my freshman year was absolutely surreal, I was hit with the entire, “I am now an adult, living ten hours away from home, surrounded by freedom” factor, and I didn’t have much reason to think about why I would ever miss home. I was surrounded by redwoods, endless hiking trails, and orange-pink sunsets over the ocean every single night.
A month into my collegiate soccer career, I tore my ACL in my left leg, making me unable to walk, play soccer, or do anything remotely active. In a place where you can take at least seven different trails to get from English to History, this was devastating news.
I sat in my dorm room, sulking. I hated everything, I wanted to go home, I wanted to up and leave because there was nothing for me to do physically in Humboldt. I felt that if I went home, I would at least be able to be surrounded by my friends and my family, opposed to sitting in a dorm room while my teammates were traveling up and down the coast to play the sport I loved.
Every single day I thought about how much I hated it, how I wanted to go home, I mapped out how many credits I would need to take to transfer out and what possible colleges close to home I could send applications to. I forgot about the trees, the forest and the beaches that led me to fall in love with Humboldt County from the start. I became blind to the beauty that trapped me in the first place.
One time, when the dorm room became too unbearably small, and I found myself suffocating in my loneliness once again, I decided just to drive up the coast. I didn’t have any idea where I was going. I just drove with the ocean racing on my left and endless thickets of green screening my right. Twenty minutes later I pulled off into a viewpoint, and I watched the sun set over the ocean slowly, gracefully, beautifully. It was one of the most peaceful, calmest moments I had ever witnessed in my life, and as I watched the waves sweep over the sun rays I felt my own worries and anxieties get swept away. I was reminded of what really drew me into this place in the first place, and I fell in love all over again.
