Over this past summer, I had my first encounter with the term "friends with benefits." One of my best friends for the last four years decided he didn't want to be just friends anymore, but he didn't want to be my boyfriend either. Even though nothing ever happened between the two of us, because I thought better of it, we aren't friends anymore. We went back and forth with the situation and things just ended up becoming weird between the two of us. I didn't like the title, and I definitely didn't like the way he was completely disregarding my feelings. The friend that used to help me with all of my boy problems had actually started to become the cause of them.

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of girls who have no problem with this title at all. And that is fine. I'm not here to shame you or judge you. Maybe you're not looking for a relationship, maybe you're just looking for someone to make you feel a little less lonely sometimes. And again, there's nothing wrong with that. But, coming from me, it's much different.

I've had a few encounters with the terms "friends with benefits," or "f*** buddy," since then. When I meet someone for the first time, and I start to develop romantic feelings for them, the first thing to pop into my mind is, "Would this person make a good boyfriend?" That's just how I'm wired. To me, asking someone to be your friend with benefits is slightly insulting. I am not anyone's "sometimes" and you can't decide when you want me around and when you don't. You need to treat yourself as a priority, and if you're spending time with someone you should be a priority in their life too. If I like you enough to spend time with you, I want to actually get to know you. What's your favorite movie and how many times have you watched it? Do you love dogs more or cats? I'm not just looking to see you in the bedroom, there is so much more to relationships than that.

Referring to me as "friends with benefits," or "f*** buddy," will not get you far. You either have intentions of being in a relationship with me at some point in the future, or I promise we will be nothing more than friends.