Being in control is something that every single one of us enjoys whether we realize it or not. We all have our own agenda, and not knowing what to expect makes things a lot more stressful. When something doesn't go as planned or we find ourselves in a situation where we have no say, we tend to freak out a little. This is completely normal and even expected. Recently, I've been doing a lot of reflecting and have found that even during times when it feels like things are spiraling, there are ways that we can take control on our own. Below is my advice to you on how to deal with feeling out of control.
There have been times when I've been upset by a situation or by a person and felt that there was nothing I could possibly do about it because they were the ones who have the upper hand and ultimately have control. I was tired of feeling defeated and like I couldn't do anything to change the way I felt. As I thought more and more about it, I realized that any situation I'm thrown into is what I make it. In the past, I had made the choice to sit back, give up and let things play out on someone else's terms. As I kept finding myself in these positions, I realized that I am able to give myself control by choosing how to react and what to put up with.
Something that takes a while to get used to or understand is that in every situation we find ourselves in throughout life, there are many different factors that play into the ending result. Each of these factors may be people, places or things that are not in our control. We can try to control others as much as we want, but it will never work. We have to realize that all humans are selfish beings whether they mean to be or not, and while we may think that everybody has our best interest at heart, that is rarely the case.
This forces us to have to look out for ourselves. We shouldn't be worrying about what others are doing. Having control doesn't mean telling others what to do or having the upper hand in every situation. We can have all the control in the world, it just includes deciding what we want to do and how we choose to control ourselves. We need to accept that we can't control others and that no matter how hard we try or how understanding we think we're being, they will not listen. We need to be able to recognize and get away from situations and people who put us down. There are so many other things and people that are better worth our time.
Sometimes it feels like life is simply not going our way and that every single thing that could possibly go wrong is going wrong. However, control is an illusion, a mindset. It's something that we put into our heads. None of us really have control over anything, but we can take the steps to help make ourselves feel like we're more in control than we are. By doing this, we will have the ability to feel calmer about any situation we are put into. Every situation is what we make it into, and when we decide we want to have control, that's all it takes.