There are about 7.5 billion people on the world today, yet humans can still feel so lonely and lost. I feel like society has definitely put a negative view on spending time alone and being independent. These days, if you aren’t going out every night and aren’t constantly surrounded by friends, family, and people, and if you’re not in a relationship, everyone assumes that you’re sad or even depressed. I’m here to tell you that if you’re feeling this way, you don’t have to be ashamed or sad about it. Feel it, live it and let it go.
If you’ve ever sat at home alone on a Friday night feeling lonely, I know exactly how you feel. I’ve been there. Being a 19-year-old female in her second quarter of college, I can say from experience that it’s hard. I’m so thankful to be getting a higher education at a great university, but for me and some of you, school isn’t necessarily the challenging part. Like some, I’m extremely introverted, shy and at times (most times), anxious in social settings. I moved barely two hours away from home to attend college -- not too far to be completely overwhelmed, but just far enough so I’ve gained independence and have learned how to be on my own. I actually see a lot of familiar faces as I walk past other students on campus because my university was a popular choice for kids back home. But that doesn’t matter, because for me, getting out and putting myself out there is extremely difficult. I’m really exclusive, and not in a “mean girl” sense. I choose really carefully who I let in and who I share my personal life with to avoid getting hurt or exposing too much of myself.
I know many of you can relate to feeling lonely in college, especially during the first few quarters. I saw a lot of my friends experience their first year and it looked amazing: So many new friends and parties and crazy memories that they were making. You look at people’s social media accounts and everything looks so picture-perfect. I couldn’t wait to move out and start making my own memories in my own apartment with tons of new, beautiful people. I put all of these unrealistic expectations into my head and was thoroughly disappointed once I actually got to college. The one thing nobody ever told me was that it was lonely at first, and it sucks. I thought I was the only one feeling this way, because nobody ever wants to talk about it. Nobody wants to talk about the lonely nights and how hard it can be to find a group of friends. But in reality, the beginning of college can be the loneliest time of our lives. But it will get better, and you’ll find new friends, and ultimately, you’ll be happy. It really just takes some time and patience for people like you and me.
So for now, enjoy the time alone and do the things that make you happy. Binge-watch your favorite show on Netflix, go out to coffee, read a good book, go to the gym, meditate, cook a fancy dinner, go on a hike, write. Do whatever makes you happy, focus on bettering yourself and remember it’s OK to spend time alone. I promise that you will not feel this lonely forever. When you make new friends and find your group of people, you’ll be ready to get out make new memories. Until then, it’s OK to be alone. Learn to love spending time with yourself and be independent. I promise you, you’re not the only one feeling this way. Don’t panic. I’ve personally never been more lost, lonely and confused about life than I am right now as a first-year college student. I’m slowly learning to accept all these feelings and emotions and just get on with it. Yeah, we might be feeling this way now, but don’t let it define who you are as a person and don’t let it hold you back from getting what you want and pursuing your dreams.
You don’t have to have the same exact path and experiences as everyone else to be happy. Seriously. Stop worrying so much about the little things. Be true to yourself and never compromise your values for anyone else. In the brilliant words of my mother, “Remember to live in the moment and deal only with what you can so you don’t miss out worrying about things that may or may not be an issue in the future.”
I promise, you will not feel this way forever. So for now, embrace it and let the universe guide your journey. Good things are coming; trust it.
