You look in the mirror and criticize everything you see. Every time you take a picture you overanalyze it and end up saying you hate it. You work out a lot because you're never satisfied with the way you look. You hate going shopping because you hate the way clothes make you feel. You see that girl that everyone loves and you ask why can't I be more like her? You're constantly trying to do so many things so people will like you. You want to be fun and smart and pretty and kind and everything that everyone else wants you to be. You need people to tell you that you are pretty or skinny and all kinds of things.
But no matter how many compliments or reassurance you get you never believe it.
I've been there. I get it. But let me tell you, you are beautiful. Rest your aching heart honey, because you are special. You are you and that is all you have to be. You are loved. You are enough.
Romans 8:39 "Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Different people believe these lies about themselves for different reasons. It can be from childhood bullying, a traumatic event or even just societal pressure. But that's what they are.. lies.
Speaking from experience, the saying about how people just tear others down because they are actually insecure is true. When my confidence was at its lowest, I was not nice. I wanted attention because I needed people to tell me good things about myself, but I also tried to push attention on others because I didn't want people to see my imperfections. It was a constant cycle of feeling good and bad until I eventually crashed.
The key to loving others is loving yourself first. If you are genuinely happy, you won't have to fake it.
Psalms 139:14 I" praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well."
Taking care of myself and learning to really embrace my imperfections was such a big step for me. I stopped listening to lies and unrealistic standards set for women my age and started listening to myself. I learned to appreciate myself more.
One of the most important things to do if you struggle with confidence is stopping negative talk. You don't have to become cocky and rude, but when you feel down learn how to lift yourself up. Write down things you are proud of or you like about yourself. Know you are special in your own way. You are valuable and worthy.
Proverbs 3:15 "she is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare to her."
Being skinnier or having blonde hair won't make you happier. Eventually, a new trend will come around that you will feel the need to conform to. True joy comes from accepting your imperfections and loving yourself in whatever stage you're in. It is perfectly okay to be realistic and say things like "I should be eating healthier," or "I really need a haircut" but the harmful behavior comes when you're doing those things because you feel you aren't worthy unless you change. You are already amazing.
Ecclesiastes 3:11 "He has made everything beautiful in its time. "
People always say, "I will be enough for the right person" which is true but also carries a negative influence on women. As girls, we shouldn't be going around looking for someone to make us feel like we are "enough." Be enough for yourself. Fall in love with yourself before you fall in love with someone else. Don't think you have to look or act a certain way for others to like you. Be content with your own company. It is nice to have other people in your life but don't let the need for acceptance cause you to negatively view yourself.
Song of Solomon 4:7 "you are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you."
Even the "it girl" who seems to have it all and be perfect has insecurities. "Skinny" or "pretty" people still have insecurities. No one is perfect. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. No two people are the same and that's what makes this world so beautiful. You don't have to try to be someone else.
God put you on this earth for a reason. Everyone has imperfections and insecurities. It's natural. Don't let that bring you down. I pray that you will be able to view yourself the way God does. We are his daughters whom he loves.
1 Samuel 16:7 "…The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."
At the end of the day, physical features fade. What matters is inner beauty. Be kind to others. Don't tear each other down. Especially if you have struggled with confidence. If you spent days crying because you never felt enough, don't go making someone else feel that way. As a society, we should be encouraging other women and lifting each other up. We all know how hard it is to live in this world and accept yourself for who you are. Love each other.
