A few weeks ago, a brilliant eight-year-old told me, “Everyone has something they are afraid of and that is okay.” We were discussing gymnastics and I mentioned I could not do the uneven bars balance beam because I was afraid of heights. She did not know it, and neither did I in that moment but with that one short sentence she gave me an answer to all my anxieties, she told me that despite all my fears, everything would be okay.

Currently, I'm struggling with the fear of being something less than my best. This is true with everything I do in life but even more so when it comes to my education. I have always been an intelligent student who cares deeply about grades. However, I believe it is becoming an obsession that is drastically taking over my life and most definitely harming my well being. For example, I have received two B’s on two separate tests this past week and they each sent me into a panic. I have been calculating not only what their impact on my overall grades will be but what their impact on my GPA will be. I am not exaggerating in the slightest when I say that I have calculated the same numbers at least 50 times in the past three days. In fact, that number is probably not far off from 100.

Why does a number matter so much to me? I believe my GPA is a direct reflection of who I am and how hard I work. I know how false this statement is yet it is still there, always looming in the back of my mind. I believe that I am capable of a 4.0 and therefore anything less than that is less than my best which is most definitely not acceptable in any way, shape, or form.

Yet this magical number is destroying me, I cannot sleep at night or even relax during the day. It haunts me. I know I need to let go of it and simply focus on working hard and accepting that not every grade will be an A but how? How do you just forget about something that artificially means so much to you?

If I had the answer, I most likely would not be writing on this topic today, I would have moved on. Luckily, though, I am surrounded by amazing people who have not only somehow managed to put up with me and my ridiculousness, but they have given me some much-needed advice that I'm hoping to soon be able to accept as an answer.

Most of the advice I am given comes from the Serenity Prayer,

“Lord please grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

As a Christian, I am constantly trying to revert back to this prayer and utilize it. I pray for this or something similar each and every night. However, as any true Christian can tell you, it is a very hard thing to actually accept. As with all things, it is one thing to say it but an entirely different thing to do it.

The next piece of advice came to me after I questioned to a friend whether or not everything I'm doing in school even means anything.

“In the end, it all means something and is worth it. That's what makes hard work so gratifying”

Right now it is hard for me to see the finish line and I know that God and I most likely have different finish lines in mind. I know though that I am doing all of this hard work for a reason. There may be days when I want to quit everything but I know that one day when I'm looking back on this all, I will be glad I kept going and accomplished they things I did. I will be able to feel proud of myself regardless if I have a 4.0 or 3.5, it still hurts a bit but I'm trying and that is what matters, I have accomplished far more than I had ever thought previously possible.

Then, of course, there is the advice I was given from an eight-year-old who I know will change this world one day,

“Everyone is afraid of something and that is okay”.

Never think less of yourself because you have a fear whether it be failure, haunted houses or clowns(who isn't afraid of clowns today?). Try looking at your fear and asking what it can teach you. Learn from it and turn it into something positive. If you can't do that just yet well, that's okay too.

The lessons from all of this?

1. It's okay to not be perfect all the time. It's impossible.
2. Do not worry about the things you cannot change, what is the point? It is just going to distract you from things that you actually can change.
3. Surround yourself with inspiring and positive people. If I did not do that I'd probably still be crying right now.
4. Don't give up. You've come too far for that now.
5. Most importantly, it is okay to be scared.

This Week's Joke: What music are balloons scared of?

Pop Music!