I like to think I’m good with kids because I’m still a kid. I watch cartoons, have dreams of something that seems impossible, still play Pokemon and get a hard-on for geek culture. Being a kid is what every adult wants to do over again and some, like my dad, still relive their childhood as an adult. It’s not that we don’t want to grow up so fast, it’s that we still hold onto those impactful experiences that scream “I was once a kid like everyone else.” We all were, we all miss it and we for sure envy it when we see kids. Even when it comes to school, people would still trade up their lives to be a kid one more time. I’m in college and I have to say, school sucks, but it’s extremely important for the development of kids becoming adults in the real world. As for high school, yes, it’s helpful, but for grade school, well, let’s just say it’s fun and keep it simple. So without further ado, here are the best experiences we wish we could relive when we were in grade school.
A substitute teacher.
Oh, we’re innocent and respectful? Yes, we’re totally not evil little sh*ts who can mess you up so psychologically that we will, and I mean this, we will put you into an insane asylum. We will not rest until every rule is broken! You think you can tame this? Hmph, think again.
When it's someones birthday.
I don’t know bout you guys, but when it was someone's birthday, that person would bring in treats. I mean, I didn’t care if it was someone else's birthday or not, I honestly just wanted the free food.
A holiday.
Oh God, how I loved the holidays during grade school. You can wear your costume to school on Halloween: show off them new spider tights or maybe those fake foam muscles of your six pack Power Rangers outfit, and next thing you know, you’ll be dishing out candy over your crush like she was a stripper.
Breaks or vacations.
The best thing about breaks are simply no school and playdates 24/7 all day errday… If our Moms say it’s OK, of course.
Laughing when you’re not supposed to.
When the teacher tells you to shut up over a joke your friend made, most of the time you and your friend(s), if you had any, would find the joke or whatever you’re laughing about to be increased over 9,000. Everything’s 10 times funnier when you’re not suppose to laugh.
The wind in your hair as you glide over the Earth in your Heelys.
Gym class.
Every time as kid, I would thoroughly enjoy watching my friends get nailed in the balls by a dodge ball, clouds of Axe body spray in the locker room and the sheer enjoyment of honoring the beep test…f*ck the beep test.
Music class.
I’m not saying I can only play two songs on the piano, but I can totally play two songs on the piano. You know you were on some next level Beethoven sh*t when a kid in class could play early 2000s song on the piano. "Mad World" by Gary Jules… that’s all I could ever play.
Field Trips.
The zoo was obviously, hands down, the best field trip anyone could go on when you were young and stupid, but now that I’m an adult and when I go to the zoo I realize how sh*tty we must have been when we were younger. I’m more entertained watching kids watch animals than watching the animals, because most of the time the animals are always sleeping anyways. Babies/infants are like little drunk people and little kids are animals, poking each other, starting arguments that don’t make sense, fussing and making a scene all the time. They’re vicious when it comes to something they want and annoying when they don’t get their way. They rely on instinct instead of reasoning and really have no communication skills. I hope hunting season comes early, because I got an idea for population control.
Side note: Please understand I’m very sarcastic.
Watching a movie in class.
I sleep during movies in class now, but movies in class when you were young, holy sh*t, it was like the second coming of Jesus Christ. Veggietales was my everything. I went to a Catholic School my whole life.
Recess.
You guys all saw this coming. Do I really need to explain?
