Recently, I had a conversation with a friend of mine. She gave me permission to write about our conversation, but would like to remain anonymous. She said, “People think I have friends, but I don’t. I have like, acquaintances, I guess. They all know stuff about each other though, like, they just KNOW.”

I’ve been trying to take what she said and put it into terms that are easier to understand. She knows people, she’s in clubs, she goes to events. It’s not a sad or lonely feeling she was describing, it’s different than that. She watched as all her “friends” were becoming close, they were bonding, learning about each other, and making secrets. She was there too, but it was different for her. Not that she was jealous, no, that’s not it. What I was trying to explain was the feeling of disconnection. She's their friend, but she still feels like an outsider.

She asked if she was the one to blame. Not in a serious way, she’s not super affected by it, she just wants to know. Was she not making the effort? Was she weird? Really though, who’s at fault here? Is she being too sensitive, or is this a real issue? Are we unintentionally making people feel disconnected?

If we are, this can leave people feeling unwanted, not included, and uninterested in the group of people or club they’re in. I’ll be the first to say, I don’t want that. I don’t intend for my friends or my acquaintances to feel left out. So, I bring to you a challenge. Be more inviting. Be more open. Embrace the awkward beginnings. Be accepting.

Going into the new year and a new semester, you can find new friends without getting rid of old ones. Just think about this, think about it when you’re sitting in class. Or when you’re at the first club meeting of the new year. Or when someone new starts hanging our with your group of friends. Think about being inviting, open, and accepting.

If you’re one who feels disconnected, it’s OK. It’s alright to feel different. It’s alright to want to fit in. But you don’t have to. You’ll find people who have the same interests and passions as you at some point. Just remember, we need to love ourselves and be comfortable wth being alone sometimes. Remember that when it comes to friends, quality is better than quantity. Most important, remember that there’s no one on Earth with the same exact mind as you and that’s beautiful. If people don’t see the beauty in being different, then I think we found exactly who’s at fault.