One of the more difficult things in life to admit is that you are a third-wheel friend. Being a third-wheel friend means that when you hang out with friends, the amount does not matter, you are the one that gets brushed off to the side. Now, I do not mean that one time when Becky ignored what you said in the conversation because Becky was probably just annoyed with you or honestly didn't hear you.
What are the signs of being a third-wheel friend or creating a third-wheel friendship?
Well, Are you the one trailing behind and alone while walking with friends, or are you ahead and conversing solely with the person beside you? Are you always inviting people to hang out with you because people do not often ask you to hang out, or are you exclusively hanging out with only certain friends unless invited by others? Do people make plans in front of you without asking your opinion and inviting you, or are you the one making these plans in front of a friend and not inviting them?
Not inviting them to plans
Obviously, you do not have to invite every single friend you have to every single thing you do. That is ludicrous. But if you and all of your friends are making plans together and excluding one single friend, it can hurt. Having people make plans in front of you or mentioning plans that everyone except you is invited to can hurt. Reading a text in a group chat where your friends confirmed plans to go do something without the initial invitation or an invitation in that moment makes you feel like a third-wheel friend.
Ignoring them in conversations
Interrupting a conversation is so obnoxious and we tend to ignore people who interrupt. But when friends are together and completely ignoring something someone is saying in a conversation, you feel as though you are not valued. There have been countless times when I have been with friends and we are having a conversation that they have completely left me out of. I utter a line multiple times but have it fall on deaf ears or sometimes am graced with a malevolent glare. Sometimes, ignoring people is the easiest thing to do, but not when you are actually having a conversation. If you have more than one friend with you but you are completely disregarding one of them, you are creating a third-wheel friend who learns that their words do not matter.
Only talking to them when it suits you
Sometimes, it can seem convenient to have that friend who listens to you when you are upset or lonely. But do you only turn to this friend during these times? Third-wheel friends are the ones you push aside until you have no other choice. Are you being called up every time Bobby and Tommy fight with each other? If so, they may only be asking to hang out with you because they cannot hang out with each other.
Now, I highly doubt anyone intentionally tries to make their friend feel like a third-wheel, but if these signs appear anywhere in your friendships, maybe you should make a change. Personally, I would not address this feeling to my friends because of how petty it seems--"you need to include me more" is a very touchy subject for the majority of humanity--but sometimes a person does need to make a change. If you are being impacted in such a negative way by this, I suggest trying to find a solution by hanging out with your friends individually or seeking out newer friendships. No matter what option you choose, remember that you are a person with value. You should never be someone's second choice.
