Sometimes I Feel Numb
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

Sometimes I Feel Numb

Occasionally I have periods of feeling nothing, and it used to worry me a lot...

846
Sometimes I Feel Numb
Personal photo

Sometimes when someone asks me how I am feeling I have no clue what to answer, because I feel...nothing. I don't feel sad, angry, happy, I don't feel anything. This lack of feeling does not happen often, I am nearly always feeling a lot of emotions all at the same time. But once in awhile, usually after I have exhausted myself with feeling so much, I go numb, without warning and without me having a choice in the matter. When you are used to feeling so much pain and pleasure, when you are used to experiencing a rush of emotion several times a day, it is weird, disconcerting and scary to feel nothing. It makes me feel broken, like my emotion buttons got pushed off and I feel like I'll never be able to turn them back on. The sad thing is, not only do I feel numb to pain and sadness during these times, but I also don't react with happiness and excitement to things that usually make me feel those emotions, like being with people I love, getting a sweet text from a friend or hearing of some good news. Instead of feeling satisfy or joyful, I feel, flat...numb...nothing. And then if I feel numb long enough, I do start to feel something; frustration, at my lack of emotion. After analyzing myself during these rare weird times of numbness, I have realized that this is my brain's way of coping with the fact that I am normally an extremely deep feeling individual. My brain, heart and body get worn out and exhausted from feeling so much all the time, so I sometimes they just turn off their sensors. This nearly always happens after I have been battling with an especially painful, overwhelming or frightening occurrence. When life throws a huge amount of emotion at me for an extended period of time, I start to have these times of nothingness. My heart and mind get tired of having to battle with things that are very hard to accept and so my emotional sensors just take a break. Sometimes I get out of these numb times calmly and gradually slip back into feeling things normally. But other times, I come out of it with sobs and a sudden feeling of extreme sadness or anger and it is clear then that I was feeling numb because I was in denial of some hard fact of life. Another reason I feel numb sometimes is because of my immobilizing fear of losing people, and of being hurt by people. After an especially hurtful encounter with someone or after a relationship goes sour and leaves me aching and grieving, I have these periods of numbness toward other people I am close to. This too, is a disconcerting experience to me. I am used to feeling extreme rushes of pleasure when I am near those I love or when I receive some sweet sign that they care about me. But sometimes my insecurities and fears of losing people make me go numb as a method of trying to protect my heart. Last fall, I was feeling very disturbed by these periods of nothingness, and one of my mentors said something like. "I noticed that you have been kind of numb lately," and when I nodded, she said something like, "Well don't worry because it is a perfectly normal response to what you are going through and just remember this, it is always possible to turn those knobs back on, and start to feel again." I soon came to realize that she was right and some of my worry about my periods of nothingness went away, because I've realized that I don't stay numb very long. It's just my brain's way of taking a time out.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

91635
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

68554
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments