Don't Let The Fear Of Getting Close To People Keep You From Making Everlasting Connections

Don't Let The Fear Of Getting Close To People Keep You From Making Everlasting Connections

It's time to let your guard down.

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I seclude myself in the fear of judgment. I seclude myself in the fear of opening up. I seclude myself in the fear of allowing another person to know the depths of my soul and walking away with the ability to break me. I seclude myself because its comfortable. I seclude myself because it's easier to be alone without the chance of being hurt by others.

However, I've recently recognized the damage this has created for me. It has prevented me from developing friendships. It has made me shy away from old friendships. It has given me a negative outlook about the world. It has made me thoroughly consumed in loneliness to the point that I am unsure how to break free from its control. This connection that I refuse is needed. Without it, how will I be able to internally grow to my greatest potential? The truth of the matter is this:

People will hurt you, that's a given. Attempting to prevent that hurt will only hurt you in the end. There is significance in being heartbroken by others that pushes us to grow internally to excessive lengths. We must understand this. Shutting yourself out from the world leaves you alone; with no one to talk to, no one to laugh with, no one to share interesting events with, and no one to listen. Our minds make us believe we can handle it, and that we are strong enough to live in silence away from people. But we are wrong. Time will prove that being in your own world for too long can cause detrimental comfort. Comfort that we become so invested in that it is nearly impossible to walk away from.

To those who have found compelling fascination for avoiding the world,

There is beauty in letting your guard down for others. There is a purpose in allowing others to see you for who you truly are. Don't let the horrific people you have experienced paint an extremely gloomy perspective of what the rest of the world might offer. You will be surprised how many people can help to heal your pain, if you give them the chance to. You will be amazed once you are able to visualize the number of remarkable people who are out there waiting to meet someone like you. Take a risk, because there is more unexpected greatness that will occur as a result than there is expected misery. There is plenty of opportunity for meeting someone who resembles your most valued qualities, who will be willing to reciprocate care, love, kindness, and consideration. You need to be willing to face the possibility of internal wounds for the sake of developing an everlasting connection. Even if you have encountered many people who make you question why the connection is of any importance, do not let this confusion distract your desire for finding the meaning behind it all and the ways in which it can assist you.

This fear can be shattered once you acknowledge the POWER that comes from engaging within the depths of others, and allowing them to witness all of the wonderful qualities you carry.

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An Open Letter To My Unexpected Best Friend

You came out of nowhere and changed my life for the better.
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“It’s so amazing when someone comes to your life and you expect nothing out of it but suddenly there right in front of you is everything you ever need.”

-Unknown

Dear Unexpected Best Friend,

You were the person I never thought I would speak to and now you are my very best friend. You came out of nowhere and changed my life for the better. I can’t thank you enough for everything you have done to shape me into the person I am today. You’ve taught me what it means to be selfless, caring, patient, and more importantly adventurous.

You don’t realize how much better my life has become and all because you came out of nowhere. I didn’t see you coming. I just saw you on occasion, and now I can’t see my life without you in it. It’s funny how life works itself out like that. Our unexpected friendship filled a hole in my life that I didn’t know existed.

I don’t even remember what life was like before you came along; it most likely had a lot less laughter and spontaneity than it does today. I can call you about anything and you would drop whatever you're doing to help me in any situation. You know when I need encouragement. You know when I am at my best and when I am at my worst. You always know exactly what to say.

SEE ALSO: 8 Tiny Lies Every Young Woman Has Told Their Best Friend

I couldn’t have found a better friend than you if I tried. We balance each other out in the best way possible. You are most definitely the ying to my yang, and I don’t care how cliché that sounds. Because of you, I’ve learned to stop caring what people think and to do my own thing regardless of any backlash I might receive. You are my very favorite part of what makes me who I am to this day.

It’s as if I wished up a best friend, and poof—you appeared right in front of me. I am so beyond blessed to have you and I wouldn’t trade the world for all our memories. Thanks for coming out of nowhere.

Love you forever and a day.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Medders

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Not Going To Lie, I’m A 'Little-stitious'

Michael Scott showed me that it's okay to think you have the power.

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If you're like me and you've watched "The Office" 7 times all the way through, then you'd remember the episode where Michael Scott hit Meredith with his car. This episode happens to be my favorite because while there are countless lines from all 9 seasons that are very relatable, this episode holds what I believe is the best office quote.

"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little-stitious".

In my eyes, there has never been such a perfect description of myself seen in "The Office", because I'm extremely a little-stitious. However, my little-stitions don't have anything to do with walking under ladders, opening umbrellas indoors or having a black cat cross your path. I wouldn't even say that mine are true superstitions, they're basically me being overly aware of my actions on a certain day and thinking that if I mess up the routine then the world will cave in.

For example, I have a necklace that my sister gave me that I truly believe I have to wear to every day or bad things will happen. And while I've had bad things happen to me while wearing the necklace, I've had worse things happen when I'm not.

Coincidence? Probably. Is that going to stop me from making sure that the necklace is around my neck every day? No.

However, the days where I become the most little-stitious are test days. You don't mess with test days. I have the same PJs that I wear the night before any test, and during finals week if they get washed, it's bad luck. Necklaces on test day also play an important role. On top of the necklace that my sister gave me, I also wear a necklace that my parents got me. A few days before one of my Spanish tests earlier in the semester, the necklace my parents got me unclasped and one of the charms fell off. When I realized that in class, my first thought was… "I'm going to fail my Spanish test on Friday if I don't find it". I retraced all my steps and finally found it lying outside the door to my room. I passed my Spanish test.

The morning of a Spanish test is different than any other test. I have to listen to Spanish music. However, the day of my Spanish final, I forgot. And while I didn't fail the test, it was my lowest test grade of the semester.

The issue with a lot of my little-stitions is that everyone thinks that it really just comes down to coincidence. And if I'm being quite honest, they probably are. But that doesn't change the fact that in my mind I believe that the only way I'm acting as my 100% best self, is when I follow my routines. They bring me good luck because even though I've done pretty bad on some tests when I've worn the necklaces, worn my hair in a bun, worn the PJs the night before, worn black socks, I didn't fail. Even tests that I truly believe I did fail, I still got by on. Days where I've sat in my room crying, I realize that I'm not wearing my necklace, so I put it on and everything gets a little brighter.

There's nothing wrong with having a little-stitions, because even if in the end they don't truly make a difference, they do in my mind. Without my little-stitions, I don't think that I would wake up every morning and be prepared to start the day.

Or maybe my necklace and clothes just have magical powers? I haven't ruled that out yet.

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