Insecurities are something everyone has at some point in their lives, if not through their entire life. Even the most confident people have insecurities. It’s normal and sometimes very easy to brush off. However, in some people’s cases it’s not so easy.
I for one have ridiculous insecurity issues. It gets in the way of my self-esteem, my friendships, my relationships and nearly everything else along the way. If you have bad insecurity issues, you probably understand why that’s so.
On the occasion that I mention my insecurities, every now and then I'm met with skeptical looks. I’ve been told by others that I have nothing to worry about. “You’re pretty, don’t worry!” or even, “You’re so skinny and pretty! What would you have to be insecure about?” When met with that skepticism, I used to argue with those people. After a while though, I realized I just came off as “attention-seeking.” As if people were convinced I was calling myself ugly to inflate my ego, and have people say, “Oh my God, no! You’re beautiful!”
Well, I’m sorry to disappoint, but I don’t call myself ugly to hear you try to “convince” me otherwise. When I say those things, it’s because at that moment, I feel so. So these days, if someone argues with me about things like that, I just shake my head. “I know you don’t get it,” I’ll tell them. “But that’s how I feel, and I don’t want to argue. Conversation over.” Even if these people are saying this because they believe it, it still doesn’t help. If I think badly of myself, no one else is going to change that. Only I can.
If you know a little about Zodiac signs, you probably know that Leos are known to be egotistical, arrogant and confident, among other things. I’m a Leo. I am arrogant, and admittedly, I can be pretty self-absorbed. (Though I would argue that all people are naturally self-absorbed.) However, I am not egotistical and I lack a lot of confidence. Back in middle-school athletics class, I used to wear at least three undershirts. When it came time to change, I would hide in a corner of the locker room and change under my clothes which were usually oversized, in the unfashionable and unflattering sense. For many years, I would wear nothing that really showed my figure. It has been in the most recent years that I’ve finally began to feel more confident in wearing different clothes, experimenting with makeup, and embracing some of my nicer features.
I’m getting ahead of myself, though. Insecurities aren’t just limited to physical features. It can be in your skills, hobbies, abilities and so on. “What if my writing isn’t good enough?” “What if I’m not smart enough to pass this class?” “I’m not a good enough person to date this person.” “I don’t deserve a friendship, I’m not a great friend.” There are so many ways insecurities can pop up in your life. I haven’t even begun to discuss all of them.
What can we do about this?
Well, I’m still working on this myself. It takes time, and patience and endurance. Slowly creep out of your comfort zone. If you see a piece of clothing that you really like but don’t think you’ll be able to pull off – say “F*ck it” and buy it anyways. Maybe you’ll surprise yourself. Thinking about joining a club or an organization but don’t think you’ll really fit in – say “F*ck it” and join anyways. Want to try and be friends with someone but don’t think they’ll like you? F*ck it, go talk to them. A cute person passes by but you’re scared they’re out of your league? F*ck it. Use your best pickup line, and flirt your ass off.
Sometimes you need to say “F*ck it” to things and go for it. Forget about what people are going to think. Don’t worry about whether you’re good enough or not. Stop calculating all that may go wrong and, as Shia LeBeouf would say, “JUST DO IT.”
The fact of the matter is, insecurities are probably going to continue being a part of your life. It’s up to you to decide whether to let it control the way you live your life or not. I’m not saying thinking this way will up and change your life right away. It’s a process. A process I’m barely even going through. It may take some time, but one day, you can smile when someone compliments you, and say, “Thanks, I know.”
“Insecurities are about as useful as trying to put the pin back in the grenade.” –Incubus, "Smile Lines"
