Let me provide you with the briefest of glimpses into my world at this very moment- on my nightstand sits a bottle of heavy duty cough syrup (cherry flavored, of course.) Beneath that nightstand sits a suitcase only half full needing to be ready for tomorrow night's New Year's Eve camping trip. My laptop has about seven tabs open with four of those tabs concerning upcoming projects that need my oversight before the new year. The point I am trying to make is that I am just a wee bit distracted in creating new content this week. I would absolutely love to write a think piece on the final week of 2016 (at this point, I'd even settle for a dissertation on the God like relationship Willy Wonka has to his enslaved Oompa Loompas,) but alas, it seems destiny has other plans for me this week.
The idea to start a writer's blocked inspired series based off of my favorite YouTube content started about two minutes ago when I found myself temporarily healed from the burning guilt caused by procrastination with a video titled “Queen- Bohemian Rhapsody (Vocals Half-Step Out of Key.)” Ah, what a glorious feeling it was to be whisked away into a world of euphoric cringe rather than confront the important duties currently invading my life. We all have videos we love to watch or pass along, especially in desperate times of monotony, and as an avid procrastinator, I definitely have hours of content I would love to share. Let me be the devil on your shoulder as I expand your YouTube history and further delay you from accomplishing things that are actually important.
"World's Worst Police Sketch"
Only lasting 16 seconds, "World's Worst Police Sketch" is as simple as it is amazing. A man is recording a local news broadcast describing a murder that the felon committed. The broadcast is airing exactly as one might expect, that is until the absolute worst police sketch of the criminal is shown, resulting in laughter from the man behind the camera. Maybe it stems from such an innocent mistake following such a horrible act of atrocity that makes this so funny. Maybe it's the laughter from the man behind the camera that makes this so infectious. Maybe it's the cartoonishly awful sketch itself that makes this so fascinating. Whatever the case is, this is one that never fails to make me smile.
"Donald Trump Humiliates Jeb Bush Again"
Wait! Please come back! Do not let the political title affect you from experiencing what happens when funny people have access to editing software. Regardless of your political beliefs, this is a video anybody can enjoy. The people responsible for my cackling at 2 AM most nights come from a YouTube channel called Super Deluxe. Here, Super Deluxe has footage from the 2016 Republican Presidential Debate and have a field day with President-Elect Trump absolutely decimating Jeb Bush. Inserting random sound effects, and perfectly placed snap zooms and close ups, "Donald Trump Humiliates Jeb Bush Again" is the perfect video to watch after a bad day.
"Yay! I did it!"
Possibly the most simple video on this list, and certainly the most adorable, "Yay! I did it!" represents the innocence and optimism that made childhood so wonderful. This is a video with an epic underdog story at the heart- a little girl named Piper facing the big, scary slide in her backyard. Her reaction is the stuff heroes strive for as she reminds us all that victory is truly measured in perception rather than flat out success. It's just such a shame that the camera stops rolling right before she dances on the graves of the school bullies that dare defiled her before.
"Man Locks Himself In Hot Car To Prove That Babies And Dogs Are Cowards" NSFW- Language
The internet is growing more and more experimental with tackling issues in video form. Videos like "10 Hours of Walking in NYC as a Woman" have gained fame and notoriety while approaching a sensitive subject in a well documented and immensely watchable way. So leave it to the cynics out there to satirize this idea with a grown man sitting in a hot car to prove how weak babies and dogs are. As the video goes on, the man's frustration with how easy this task is increases, escalating to some hilarious and completely uncalled for threats to the entire baby species. It is a video that absolutely nobody needed, but boy am I happy it exists.
"Gigglesnort Hotel (B.J. Helps Blob Prepare for a Date)"
This has been a favorite of mine for months now. This video has become so relevant in the lives of my friends and I that whenever it is time for either myself or my roommates to get ready for a date, a reference to Blob is either made or the full video is pulled up and blasted loud enough to echo through the whole house. "Gigglesnort Hotel" was an old children's show from the 70's about the adventures that go down at a hotel filled with unique characters. One of these characters is a paper mache looking... uh... thing known only as "Blob." What makes this video a treasure is none other than the voice of Blob. While the kindly B.J. speaks for the first few seconds, Blob's absolutely agonizing chain smoker voice instantly becomes the most noticeable aspect of the entire situation. His voice being the world's largest and thickest nails on the world's largest and thickest chalkboard. It is such a stark contrast with how cute the situation is that laughing is an inevitability. All I have to do is think about this little guy's bowtie and I will be found dead in a corner from laughing too hard.
"Baby trashes bar in Las Palmas"
"Baby trashes bar in Las Palmas" is more of a trailer for a Swedish short film titled "Las Palmas," but this trailer works as a classic video in it of itself. You see, "Las Palmas" is a short film involving a baby dressing up as a woman in a room designed to look like a bar with puppets portraying other patrons. After giving the baby what was probably apple and grape juices made to look like beer and wine, the baby starts walking around, perfectly representing intoxication. This is a video that starts out cute and ends as a full on assault on my laughter box. The short film is equally good, but if you want an abridged version, this video does an amazing job at encompassing everything found in it. Mixing innocence and adult creativity makes this video truly a delight to watch, and gives the phrase "babysitting at the bar" an entire new meaning.
"My New Microphone!"
There really isn't much to say about this one. What we have here is a man excitedly describing all of what his new microphone can do. For the first 50 seconds of this video, it really is just that- a guy simply talking about his microphone. It's what happens when the man doesn't know how to shut it off where I vow to share this with as many people as I possibly can.
"Chris P Bacon news anchor reporter looses control laughs at name of pig"
You might have seen this one floating around social media as it flirts with going viral every so often. What we have here is the epitome of everything I love in the world of comedy. A fantastic pun, professionalism being threatened with immaturity, and an infectious laugh. You see, a news anchor is introducing a story about a bipedal pig visiting children in a hospital? Clinic? Salvation Army? We have no idea because the anchor cannot stop his insane laughter caused by the pig's name- Chris P. Bacon. This video has given me such unspeakable joy over the years that it has become a go-to after a tough day. The only thing I hate about this video lies in the fact that I cannot watch it late at night. I will wake up my roommates with my laughter.
Thank you, dear reader for entertaining my writer's block this week. I do have plenty more videos left to be revealed, but they will be saved for another rainy day. Until that day comes, however, I look forward to seeing you in the new year. May your 2017 be filled with new opportunities, new memories, and a whole lot more YouTube to tempt you with not performing your scheduled duties.
